Connection
by madaboutcarla
Summary: Carla & Peter - In general, I am using the current leaked spoilers to write this, but I can't guarantee it will follow them completely
1. Chapter 1

It is set in the current timeline - it is actually the 8.30 episode on Friday the 25th of November, which has not actually come to air yet but I know Carla is back from L.A on that day, and that Michelle and Ciaran are having a leaving do, so I have just set it there.

********************

He followed behind Leanne, entering the Rovers. There was a familiar, lively buzz, heightened only because of Ciaran and Michelle's send of.

He squinted his eyes slightly, to see who was there, and then he saw the familiar black mane, tumbling down her back, like an inky waterfall. Her arm resting on the bar, only darker, obviously tanned from the L.A sunshine.

He didn't know she was coming back today, probably should have assumed it being Michelle's and Ciaran's leaving do.

He takes a seat, next to Leanne, before getting up and giving Ciaran a hard part on his back. 'I'm gonna miss you mate' he says, honestly, as despite their recent dispute, he doesn't want his friend to go.

He looks at her, studying her. She looks healthy. For the first time in weeks. Okay so the twinkle in her eye, those pools of emerald shards, isn't there, cruelly taken when Frank... did what he did. And she doesn't pulsate that strong, fierce aura that she used to. But she is smiling, and her skin is glowing, not pail, worn and tired as it had been.

She catches his eye, her head bowing slightly, a stray lock of her dark hair falling down across her face. The first eye contact they have had for weeks. She somewhat shyly tucks the strand behind her ear.

Their eyes meet, a spark ignited for that brief moment, they both break the lustful gaze before that spark evolves into a roaring blaze.

She gives him a small smile, a smile that means a thousand things, more than any words could mean.

She turns her body away, and begins to engage in conversation with someone else, ordering something, likely to be alcoholic at the bar.

The past few moments have been like a lifetime to him.

He retreats and goes to sit back with Leanne, but his mind keeps replaying that momentary moment where dark, soft, apologetic eyes met dazzling, sharp, beaten eyes - and the beautiful little smile that followed.


	2. Chapter 2

He took a long drag on his cigarette. Leanne had been rattling on all morning about how worried she was that they might not be able to conceive naturally. If he was honest, he couldn't care less right now, well, he did care, that Leanne was upset, but he wouldn't dare admit to her, that he was ever so slightly relieved. He was still battling feelings, feelings he couldn't clearly describe right now, and although their marriage seemed ok on the outside, on the inside the were deep, irrevocable holes left by deceit, betrayal, and alcohol.

He took another long drag on the cigarette, and exhaled, the opaque smoke dancing in the cold winter air. It frolicked infront of him, dancing around the svelte figure that emerged from the factory. Dark hair brushing down her back, merging into the black material of her coat.

She didn't see him, she walked down the street, picking her feet up carefully on the slippery cobbles. He didn't take his eyes of her, and she headed towards the black merc parked outside her factory.

He glanced back inside, Leanne was busy signing something. He stubbed his cigarette out on the brick wall, the ash cascading down to the floor. He walked forward, heading towards her.

'Hey, Carla' he said, in his gruff smokers voice. She turned, her dark hair catching the slight breeze, and blowing gently across her face. She smiled, nervously at him. 'Peter' she said quietly. 'How was L.A then?' he asked. 'L.A, oh it was lovely - warm... unlike here' she said, a little humour in her voice. 'You look amazing, see you topped up your tan' he said, giving her a warming smile. 'Yeah well, nothing like taking your mind of.. stuff and doing a bit of sunbathing' she replied.

'Yeah' he laughed, pausing. 'So how are you?'.

She looks at him directly now, the first time during their short exchange. Their eyes meet, as though they are holding hands. They both feel the tiny rush, their hearts quickening pace. 'I'm ok, I'm fighting back' she say's, a thread of determination in her voice.

'I'm glad, I really am' he says, relieved that a shred of her fighting spirit has returned.

'And you, I know.. the tram crash, it's a year almost' she says. He paused. She remembers. Leanne hasn't mentioned it. They all know it is coming back, but she is the first to actually ask. It touches him. 'I'm bearing up.. but it's on my mind..' he says. 'Like you' he thinks, but doesn't say it.

'I'm here.. if you need to talk' she says, slightly awkwardly.

'Thank you, I'll remember that' he says, giving her an honest smile.

'I better go.. you know, stuff to do' she replies.

He puts his hand on her shoulder 'See you around' he said, before reluctantly removing his hand, and turning back.


	3. Chapter 3

Orange flames flickered, thick smoke hung heavily in the air. He could remember the pungent smell of burning, the sound of wood and metal about to collapse, friend's screaming.

It was a web in his mind that he couldn't break free of. Had Leanne not picked up on it? She wasn't sitting by him, talking to him, putting her arm round him.

'Peter where is Simon's lunch box?' she asks  
>'Under the cupboard' he replies<p>

He knows what will fix it. Alcohol. It takes it away, briefly. Allows every muscle to relax. Allows his mind to forget.

Later - Leanne is out. So is Simon. All day people have been going on about the memorial. Can't they see how nervous he is. How as much as he is ready for his speech, as much as he has seemingly recovered from his 'ordeal' he will never, ever forget those hours spent fighting for his life, seeing life hanging in the balance.

He can no longer take it, it as though he is a balloon, that has been pumped all day, and has reached it's limit.

Before he knows it he has a bottle in his hand. But his actions haven't gone unnoticed.

He is sitting on the sofa, the bottle in his hand. He unscrews the cap, that familiar sound he has craved for so long, metal scraping round the circular glass lip of the bottle.

There is a knock on the door, great, probably Leanne or Ken, if they see him like this he in the shit. But you know what, he doesn't care, because he can no longer take it. Leanne will shout and scream at him, she won't help him.

But it isn't Leanne. It's Carla. Beautiful Carla. Carla who he can't get out of his mind.

She stands there. He doesn't need to explain that he is in a state. Intuition, understanding and a connection neither of them really understand tells her how he feels.

'Peter' she says gently, her hand finding it's way onto his shoulder. A silent comfort.

'I just can't take it, I'm scared, I can see it in my mind' Peter says, tears in his eyes, anger in his voice.

'I know' Carla says. And for once, he knows that she actually does. He knows that she see's Frank wherever she goes, remembers the night that he took away her vitality, her spirit, her safety.

They talk. She listened. He explains. And by the end of it, he is back. He is okay. At least for now. She is like his remedy and he is hers.


	4. Chapter 4

He can no longer take it. It is suffocating his mind. He has been drinking. Over the last two days, since seeing Carla the pain has hit him time and time again and he has resorted to the comforting swig of the bottle.

His heckles are up as the memorial approaches. He has been asked to make a speech. He is terrified of having to relive it, word for word. Pitying eyes watching him. 'Understanding' him.

Leanne is crying. She has just found out that she can't conceive naturally. He sits next to her, his arm around her. But he feels so out of place. He doesn't share her pain, if anything he is slightly relived, and he knows that is awful, but right now, he can't focus on it, he mind is on other things. He wishes Carla was here right now, she'd know what to say to him, she would make it ok. She would udnerstand.

He desperately want's another drink. He knows where he has to be. So he goes. He hasn't been in a while, but he knows that they will understand, and as he told Carla so many times, talking about it is better. So he finds himself back in that familiar room, surrounded by faces, some old, some new. And Carla..

She is sitting there. She hasn't seen him. She looks nervous as hell. Jittery. Her hands intertwined with each other, her foot tapping at the ground in a nervous manner.

He sits down, his eyes locked on her. Why is she here? Stupid question, he has told her to come so many times, but she never has, so why now? He presumed her drinking was back under control since L.A. Silly of him though, he has only seen her, what, once? How was he supposed to know. He wishes he did, he wants to help her. But lets me honest, he is in no fit state to at the moment.


	5. Chapter 5

'Hi, I'm Carla' she said, an undertone of shyness to her voice

'In the past.. year or so I've been having a bit of trouble.. and drinking probably a bit more than I should' she said, hesitating slightly. He know that Carla was really pushing herself to do this.

'Two months ago, I.. told my fiance I couldn't marry him because I didn't love him, and (she closes her eyes as thought she is in pain) he attacked me.. raped me (her voice goes very quiet)'.

There is a slight air of tension in the room. Peter feels as though he has been punched in the stomach as she says the words.

'And since then I've started drinking again.. as it helps me forget and not focus on it. But I've been lucky to have the support of amazing friends, well one friend in particular. He has been a rock for me over the past few months.. well year actually, but that's another story' Carla said.

Peter knew she was talking about him.

'He, understands me, and well, when he is there I don't need to drink. He seems to push the part of my mind that is desperate for it, away and I can focus again. Except he can't always be there.. he has his own life and I am just in the way of it, and I need to learn to cope without him, which I suppose is why I am here' Carla said

Peter was touched. He felt a wave of emotion, one that he couldn't exactly explain wash over him.

Carla sat down, she was proud of herself. But she still felt an empty space inside her.


	6. Chapter 6

He hadn't realized quite how much his help had meant to her.

(She had said more, gone into detail about her feelings after the rape)

He had felt his heart be well and truly rung as she spoke about how broken she felt, how she had been confident and aware before, and now she double thought everything, was wary around new people, especially men, and found the only man she could trust, with all her heart as one she couldn't have.

Various other people spoke, but all Peter's attention was on Carla. She hadn't seen him yet. She was listening to the other people, and thinking about what she had said. Peter wanted to go and sit next to her, but decided not too.

Eventually she turned her head to listen to a speak who was sitting on the same row, two behind her's, as Peter. She glanced in his direction, and did a double take when she was him there. He smiled at her, a smile that both said well done, and I'm here for you. She smiled back. He had heard every word she had said.

When it was turn to speak, he had momentarily forgotten what he needed to say, his thoughts all turned to Carla. But he found his voice and began to relive the tram crash, he explained how he felt, how everyone, expect this one person didn't seem to understand how he felt. He talked about his night mares, and how alcohol had been the only friend he could turn to recently.

Carla watched him. Wishing she could get up and wipe the tears away, put her arm around him, hold him - like he had done to her after the rape.

The session ended, and Carla and Peter found themselves walking out together. 'Well done' Peter said to Carla. 'I.. didn't know you were coming' Carla said. 'I didn't know you were either' he said, looking at her. He had to look away, as he felt a tension between them that was too high.

'I.. want to help you Peter' Carla said gently  
>'You don't need to worry about me' he said<br>'But I do, all the time' she said echoing his words  
>'Just look after yourself, please, for me' he said not wanting to burden her<br>Carla looked at him, cocking her head slightly. 'Thank you' he said, and he found himself hugging her. Her hands wrapped comfortably around his broad back. She felt safe. He held her close, they almost merged into one being for that brief moment, their senses shutting down and just accepting this was the way it should be.

'I'll see you tomorrow' Carla said as she headed her way.  
>Peter nodded, nervous about the memorial, but somewhat relived to have seen Carla<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

The day of the memorial had arrived. All Peter could think about was the speech he would have to make, except every time he practiced it, the memories came flooding back, the voices, the fire burning, the smell of smoke, the crashing of metal and wood. How on earth did they expect him to do it in front of everyone. He couldn't do it. He needed a drink. He really needed a drink.

He slipped away form the preparations. Shortly after he found himself leaning against a wall, his heart pounding. An unopened bottle in his hand. His hand was trembling as he struggled to open the bottle.

'Peter' a familiar voice spoke

He looked up, Carla was standing beside him, a look of sheer concern on her face

'No, Peter' she said gently, her hands resting on his over the bottle

She tugged slightly, but he held it tightly.

'Let me take that, please' she said

He let go of it, looking ashamed and found tears rolling down his stubble specked cheeks.

'Come on' Carla said

He looked at her.

'Your coming with me, no arguments' she said, linking his arm and leading him back to hers

He didn't want to argue. He suddenly felt safe, he knew everything would be okay. She wouldn't judge him.

She unlocked her door and he followed her into the flat. He sat down on her couch, wiping away his tears. Time slipped away and he found Carla sitting next to him, handing him a brew.

'It wont go away' he said eventually  
>'I know, it takes it's time' Carla said<br>'I know I should be there, making my speech, but I can't you know, and no one seems to understand' Peter said  
>'I do' Carla said<br>'Apart from you' Peter said, but her words stuck in his head. She was right. She did understand. She was always there when he needed her and vice versa.  
>'Thank you.. for stopping me, but I'm on the edge, have been for days' Peter said<br>'I gathered, we'll get through this though, you got me through.. things, and I think you should speak to Leanne Peter' Carla said  
>Peter felt an overwhelming moment of clarity in his mind. It had been there all along, really, but he had stuffed it at the back of his mind, trying desperately not to accept it, for it not to be true. But he couldn't deny it now. It sprung forward like a jack in the box. She understood, she cared about him, she had his back, she loved him. And up until now he had told her he cared, he had her back, he would support her. But he hadn't said he loved her. The trouble was, he knew the feeling so well now, and that feeling was not boiling underneath his skin, coursing through his heart. And that feeling was love. There was no getting away from this now - he was in love with her.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Peter finished his tea. He got up, to put the cup on the counter.

'Don't worry Peter, I am sure they will understand, if you open up to them, like you do.. with me' Carla said also getting up

They were facing each other now. He couldn't shy away from this any longer. He walked up to her, so their bodies where just inches away. Sexual tension was bouncing between them, back and forth.

'I'll see you' Carla said, sensing the change in mood

'Carla' Peter whispered, almost silently. He took her hands in his, her hands soft and gentle melted into his. He loosely tightened his hand on her hands and brought them up to his chest, allowing them to rest on his heart. She felt the warmth of his chest, and the repetitive feather like silky graze of his breath on her hands.

Carla looked up at him, confused, but safe.

'I love you' Peter eventually said. It came a lot easier than he thought. It slipped out him, as easy as breathing. It felt so right. He felt as though the reins on his feelings had finally been loosened and he could let his true emotions gallop away to their hearts content.

'Go home Peter' Carla said. The words 'I love you' hadn't registered. He was in a state. He didn't mean it. He couldn't mean it. But her doubt was brutally conflicted with the look of sincerity in his eyes. He way he had said it, so honest. She couldn't cope with this right now.

'No, Carla, I meant it. I've felt it for so long, and I didn't believe it, I pushed it away, I refused to accept it. But.. I can't do that anymore. I've been fighting this for too long, it is time for me to accept that your the only woman I can be myself with, the only one I can open up to. I love you' Peter repeated. He stared into her wide, green eyes.

'Please Peter, I don't want you to say something you will only regret and take back tomorrow. Your upset, you feel.. lost, I understand, just go and we can forget this happened' Carla said, a wash of sadness rushing over her, as she doused the tiny ember of hope for her and Peter wish a flood made of doubt and tears.

'I wont. I promise. I'll say it again and again if I have to. I love you' Peter said, firmly, but gently. He had come to accept it, and now he wanted her to.

Carla smiled gently. His voice was so loving. His thumb gently stroking his wrist. He was so perfect and he telling her things she had hoped, with all her heart he would say.

Peter smiled back at her. He relaxed in her gaze, his eyes meeting hers - allowing their love to encase them in a little bubble of safety. He leaned in, breathing in the love and excitement she was radiating. His lips met hers, parting gently. He could sense her nerves, her lips quivering ever so slightly. He pressed him firmly against hers, prizing her lips apart. She was initially hesitant, but his confident manner encouraged her to respond. She tilted her head slightly, her hands still resting on his chest. His hands moved to her waist, pressing body closer to his. He raised his left hand, gently running his fingers through her silky hair.

Unlike their last kiss, which was rushed and frenzied this one was romantic, passionate, loving, tender, everything it should be.

Carla eventually pulled away a little, her gaze reconnecting with Peter's. He smiled, as if to say 'It's okay, I'm here and that was perfect'. She returned the smile, and removed her hands from his chest, wrapping them around his broad torso, holding onto him, letting her face rest against his neck. He felt her lips pause lightly on his neck. He held her tightly to him, he wasn't going to let her go now.


	9. Chapter 9

'Can I stay here tonight?' Peter asked, breaking the silence of their tender embrace

'Course you can, but.. Leanne?' Carla said

'Don't worry, I'll sort it, I just need to be with you' Peter said as Carla nodded, finding it hard to believe the words coming from his mouth

'Do you want a shower or something Peter' Carla suggested, as he had been crying

'Would that be okay?' Peter asked

'Yes, course' Carla said pulling away from him gently, before disappearing into her room and bringing out a towel for him. His eyes moved to her bedroom, the door ajar. He had never been into that room.

'I'll be out in a bit' Peter said, kissing Carla on the temple before going into her bathroom.

Carla put the kettle on and sat on the couch, replaying the last 10 minutes in her head. He had told her loved her. He actually said the words. She found it hard to believe, but it so wonderful. She prayed he wouldn't regret it in the morning. After everything that had happened with Frank, she was nervous and apprehensive about relationships, and she didn't know how she would cope if Peter ended it with her, after telling her he loved her. Frank had told her loved her, and then had raped her, was that really what you did to people who you loved?

Peter lay in the bath, the hot water stinging his skin. He had done it. It had felt like a release, as though he had been submerged in water for too long, and come up for breath. But he also felt guilty. He had worked hard, over the past few years to build up a stable relationship with Leanne, in order for Simon to have the stability he needed.

But the truth was, it had failed. Yes, he loved Leanne, he couldn't deny that. But she wanted different things, a baby for starters. And she was constantly disappointed with him - if he told her he was struggling to stay sober she would only make him feel worse, rather than support him and help him through it. And, although he had said he had forgiven her, his knowledge of her and Nick's affair was lodged in his mind.

So what was he doing? He was doing the same thing as Leanne no? No, he had fought this for over a year, he hadn't given in, despite the numerous occasions where he was that tempted. And it was more than that, he needed Carla, just as much as she needed him. They had both seen each other at their lowest points, and yet still managed to bring each other back up. He wanted her, he wanted to protect her, to keep her safe, to help her heal from Frank.

Peter came out, the towel wrapped around his waist. Carla glanced at him, she hadn't seen him this bare before, and she couldn't deny her gaze the eye-candy it wanted. She shyly looked away, she had never used to be this shy, and nervous, but Frank had shattered her confidence.

Peter smiled as he saw the way Carla had looked at him, before turning away. She was at the counter, stirring the tea she had made. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, his damp skin warm and fresh against her shirt. She shivered slightly as his body pressed against hers, and held onto his arms - she felt safe. He nuzzled her neck slightly, kissing it lightly.

He let her go and went back into the bathroom, putting his clothes back on.

'I think I have an old shirt of Paul's you can wear if you want Peter' she said

'No it is okay, I'm fine' Peter said before she handed him a cup of tea

'Are you okay?' he asked Carla, who was quiet  
>'Yeah, I'm taking this all in Peter' she said<br>'So am I' he said, with a gruff laugh  
>'Do you really mean it Peter' she asked, after a moment<br>Peter nodded  
>'Say it' she said in an almost whisper<br>'I mean it' he said, taking her hand in his, and drawing loose circles on her arm with his finger  
>'It took me this long to accept it Carla, seeing you.. in the last few months.. I almost lost you, it was the hardest thing' Peter said, not making much sense<br>'I'm sorry.. that was so selfish of me' Carla said, referring to her attempted suicide  
>'I can't bear to think that you felt like that.. I'm sorry for what Leanne said' Peter said, remembering Leanne's harsh words to Carla, and him unable to say anything<br>'Don't Peter, she apologized.. and well, I deserved them' Carla said  
>Peter shook his head 'You didn't' he said before pulling her against him, so she could rest against him. He stroked her head, as he had done when he had taken her home those weeks ago.<br>'I'm not leaving this time' he whispered


	10. Chapter 10

'Can I stay here tonight?' Peter asked, breaking the silence of their tender embrace

'Course you can, but.. Leanne?' Carla said

'Don't worry, I'll sort it, I just need to be with you' Peter said as Carla nodded, finding it hard to believe the words coming from his mouth

'Do you want a shower or something Peter' Carla suggested, as he had been crying

'Would that be okay?' Peter asked

'Yes, course' Carla said pulling away from him gently, before disappearing into her room and bringing out a towel for him. His eyes moved to her bedroom, the door ajar. He had never been into that room.

'I'll be out in a bit' Peter said, kissing Carla on the temple before going into her bathroom.

Carla put the kettle on and sat on the couch, replaying the last 10 minutes in her head. He had told her loved her. He actually said the words. She found it hard to believe, but it so wonderful. She prayed he wouldn't regret it in the morning. After everything that had happened with Frank, she was nervous and apprehensive about relationships, and she didn't know how she would cope if Peter ended it with her, after telling her he loved her. Frank had told her loved her, and then had raped her, was that really what you did to people who you loved?

Peter lay in the bath, the hot water stinging his skin. He had done it. It had felt like a release, as though he had been submerged in water for too long, and come up for breath. But he also felt guilty. He had worked hard, over the past few years to build up a stable relationship with Leanne, in order for Simon to have the stability he needed.

But the truth was, it had failed. Yes, he loved Leanne, he couldn't deny that. But she wanted different things, a baby for starters. And she was constantly disappointed with him - if he told her he was struggling to stay sober she would only make him feel worse, rather than support him and help him through it. And, although he had said he had forgiven her, his knowledge of her and Nick's affair was lodged in his mind.

So what was he doing? He was doing the same thing as Leanne no? No, he had fought this for over a year, he hadn't given in, despite the numerous occasions where he was that tempted. And it was more than that, he needed Carla, just as much as she needed him. They had both seen each other at their lowest points, and yet still managed to bring each other back up. He wanted her, he wanted to protect her, to keep her safe, to help her heal from Frank.

Peter came out, the towel wrapped around his waist. Carla glanced at him, she hadn't seen him this bare before, and she couldn't deny her gaze the eye-candy it wanted. She shyly looked away, she had never used to be this shy, and nervous, but Frank had shattered her confidence.

Peter smiled as he saw the way Carla had looked at him, before turning away. She was at the counter, stirring the tea she had made. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, his damp skin warm and fresh against her shirt. She shivered slightly as his body pressed against hers, and held onto his arms - she felt safe. He nuzzled her neck slightly, kissing it lightly.

He let her go and went back into the bathroom, putting his clothes back on.

'I think I have an old shirt of Paul's you can wear if you want Peter' she said

'No it is okay, I'm fine' Peter said before she handed him a cup of tea

'Are you okay?' he asked Carla, who was quiet  
>'Yeah, I'm taking this all in Peter' she said<br>'So am I' he said, with a gruff laugh  
>'Do you really mean it Peter' she asked, after a moment<br>Peter nodded  
>'Say it' she said in an almost whisper<br>'I mean it' he said, taking her hand in his, and drawing loose circles on her arm with his finger  
>'It took me this long to accept it Carla, seeing you.. in the last few months.. I almost lost you, it was the hardest thing' Peter said, not making much sense<br>'I'm sorry.. that was so selfish of me' Carla said, referring to her attempted suicide  
>'I can't bear to think that you felt like that.. I'm sorry for what Leanne said' Peter said, remembering Leanne's harsh words to Carla, and him unable to say anything<br>'Don't Peter, she apologized.. and well, I deserved them' Carla said  
>Peter shook his head 'You didn't' he said before pulling her against him, so she could rest against him. He stroked her head, as he had done when he had taken her home those weeks ago.<br>'I'm not leaving this time' he whispered


	11. Chapter 11

Carla began to drowse of in his arms.

She pulled herself away and went into her bedroom, bringing out a pillow and a blanket for Peter.

He smiled and took the blanket from her. She bent down, beside the sofa, and took his hand, before kissing him gently on the lips. 'I love you' she said to him. 'I love you too' he replied.

She went into her bedroom, leaving the door ajar, which teased Peter.

She put on her night gown, and got into bed, thinking of Peter and how wonderful he was. Her thoughts where interrupted by a light tap on her bedroom door, and Peter walked in.

'Peter' she said looking up  
>'Shush, I didn't mean to disturb you' he said<br>'You didn't, it's fine' she said, and watched as he sat next to her on the bed  
>He looked down at her and smiled, before getting in beside her<br>'Peter.. I' she said before her but her off  
>'It's okay, we don't have to do anything, I just want to lie with you, wake up with you' he said before putting his arm around her, and spooning her<br>'Night Peter' she said as he pulled a strand of her dark hair away from her face  
>'Night Carla' he said kissing her back once, and falling asleep beside her.<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

Carla's eyes fluttered. Amber sunlight flitted through the curtains, casting a fiery, sunrise glow to adorn her bedroom. She felt strong, warm arms around her, and soft, repetitive breaths stroking the back of her neck. She turned herself around in Peter's arms. His eyes flickered slightly, and he signed in his sleep. She smiled, raising her hand to stroke his stubbled face. He smiled, his eyes still closed. For a moment Carla wandered if he thought she was Leanne.

Her fears were assured, as his eyes still closed, he said 'Carla' in a whispery breath. She smiled, and his arms slipped under the cover, to her waist, pulling her right up against him. She rested her head on his neck, and he wrapped his arms around her back.

'You don't regret last night' do you  
>'What, telling the woman I love the truth, no' Peter said opening his eyes, his gaze falling upon her<br>'Your so beautiful' he said  
>She blushed slightly 'Only because I'm with you' she said.<br>He leaned in, their lips meeting, their tongues dancing with each other.  
>'I've wanted to do that for so long' Carla said<br>'So have I' Peter said  
>'I couldn't have got through the last few months with out you Peter, you saved me in so many ways' Carla said staring at him<br>'What are lovers for' he said, amending the phrase he had said weeks back, replacing the word friends, for lovers.  
>Carla smiled, remembering this and melting in his arms.<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

Carla was in the bath, reflecting on the past 24 hours. She still couldn't believe he loved her. But she knew it wouldn't be so simple. It wasn't just them involved.

Peter was dressed, sitting on the sofa. He didn't regret his admission of the previous night. It was the truth. But the more he thought about things, he realized how heart broken Simon would be. Not to mentioned Leanne. He didn't know if he still loved Leanne, at least not in the way he did Carla, but he certainly cared about her, and this would hurt her deeply.

'Oh god' he said, the realization of the situation hitting him. He couldn't do it, he couldn't tell them, not yet, not just before Christmas.

His thoughts were interrupted when Carla came out of the bathroom, the towel wrapped around her. His worries fizzled away when he saw her, instinctively getting up. He walked up to her, kissing her damp hair, taking in her soapy scent.

'I'll have to go soon Carla' he said  
>She looked up at him, the disappointment evident in her eyes.<br>'So soon' she said  
>'No one knows where I am, they will be worried' he said<br>'What will you tell them?' she asked  
>'Sit down' he said taking her hand<br>'You regret it don't you' she said, a tear escaping and rolling down her cheek  
>'No, no, I don't, I meant what I said Carla' Peter said<br>'I'm going to break up with Leanne, I am going to leave her, I can't do it any longer, we have to be together' he said looking at her  
>'I can't live without you Peter' Carla said<br>'I can't live without you either' he replied, clasping her hands


	14. Chapter 14

Later on that day

'Where on earth have you been' Leanne said getting up as Peter came into the house  
>'I'm sorry.. I couldn't do it, I couldn't take it' Peter said<br>'People were expecting you Peter, you were meant to make a speech, and I was worried out of my mind' Leanne said  
>'I said I was sorry.. I've been terrified Leanne' Peter said<br>'It was just a flaming speech, you could have told me you felt this way' Leanne said  
>'Just a flaming speech? Is that what it was... thanks Leanne, I nearly died a year ago, I lost friends who were close to me, that speech represented that day.. I've not forgotten it you know.. I still feel it, still hear it. God your unbelievable' Peter said<br>'Sorry, sorry' Leanne said sitting down next to him  
>'Leanne, your the one person that should know how I feel without me needing to explain myself.. without me needing to run away' Peter said<br>'I know, I'm sorry.. I've just had so much on my mind, what with.. my fertility and all that' Leanne said  
>Peter felt a pang of guilt knowing what he was about to say, especially as she was so upset about her fertility<br>'Lea.. I don't think this is working' he said taking a deep breath  
>'What?' Leanne said looking at him<br>'Us' he said  
>'What? What do you mean' she said shocked<br>'I.. don't think this is going to work, I think we should.. call it a day' he said unsure of how to word it  
>'No, Peter, no you don't know what your saying' Leanne said, tears welling in her eyes<br>He couldn't do it, he felt so guilty, it was Christmas  
>'Peter.. when I married you I said till death do us part, I'm not going to give up on us, not now' Leanne said<br>Reluctantly, Peter nodded, knowing he would have to wait


	15. Chapter 15

Thursday - 15th Dec

Carla smiled when she received the text 'Want to meet up? Peter x'. She off course replied, saying she did.

He came around to her an hour later.

She buzzed him up, putting the kettle on, leaving the door ajar

He smiled as he entered the room.  
>She ran up to him, like a kid, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him. He eagerly responded. Not seeing her over the past few days, and having to play happy families with Leanne had been like torture to him.<p>

When the kiss ended, he realized her would have to tell her.

'What's wrong Peter' Carla asked, immediately knowing something was up  
>'We need to talk' He said<br>'Then why do I feel I wont like what your about to say' Carla said  
>'I couldn't do it' he said<br>'But..' Carla said not knowing what to say  
>'Its 3 weeks from Christmas, I can't do it, not yet, I just can't, I'm sorry' Peter said<br>Carla's face fell, she looked as though she had been smacked in the face  
>'I knew this was too good to be true' Carla said<br>'Carla' he said putting his hand on her wrist, but she pulled away  
>'Go Peter, just go, don't drag it out' she said, sobbing<br>'No, I wont go, I love you, I can't' Peter said  
>'Then how.. why' she said<br>'Please understand how hard this is for me Carla, I'm trying to do the right thing' Peter said  
>Carla's sobs ceased and her accepting his embrace<br>'I'm sorry.. I know.. I just can't bear the thought of life without you' she said  
>'Neither can I' Peter said softly<br>'I suppose I will just do with having you when I can.. for now' Carla said as he stroked her hair  
>'Just for now' he repeated<br>'I love you so much, more than I ever knew I could' she said looking up at him  
>'Oh, the feeling is more than mutual' he replied, kissing her<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

Waking up next to Leanne proved to be a big disappointment. Peter looked up at the ceiling, looking forward to getting away and seeing Carla. She needed him, and he needed her. He knew, in his core, that he shouldn't be doing this - having an affair. He should just bottle up the courage and end it with Leanne, but cared about her and Simon, and the time wasn't right. Yet.

Carla sat in the factory office. Surrounded by piles of papers and what-not, but her mind couldn't stray away from Peter. Her thoughts were interrupted by her mobile ringing. 'Hello' she answers. It is her solicitor. She want's to see her.

The little diamonds glint in the winter sunlight. It is beautiful. Elegant, flashy and so Carla. He smiled, thinking of how beautiful it will look against her olive skin. He pays for it, and puts it in the bag, along with the mobile he has bought for Leanne. But it is the necklace he can't wait to give.

Karl picks him up in the cab.

'Been out shopping today then?' he asks

'Yeah, got a few things' Peter said

'Nice, I need to do my christmas shopping n all' Karl says

As Peter gets up to get out, the box with the necklace falls out of the bag, but he doesn't notice and pays Karl before heading home. All he wants to do is see Carla, and Leanne is minding the bookies, so he takes this moment to head over to the factory, it is lunch time, so all the workers were out.

'Carla' he called when he came in. She looked up, her eyes slightly teary, but smiled when she saw him. He opened the office door, immediately embracing her and kissing her, like he hadn't seen her for a long time. He wrapped his arms around her, loosing himself in their passionate hug.

Then he pulled away so their eyes could meet 'What's wrong' he asked her. She looked down 'I had a meeting with my solicitor, and I lied...' she said. 'About us?' he asked. She nods. 'He asked if me and you were together at any point, and now..' Carla said. 'Oh Carla, it will be alright..' Peter says, not really knowing what else to say.

Carla and him remained in each others embraces for a while, forgetting the rest of the world. 'They will be back soon' said Carla referring to the factory staff. 'I know, I wish I didn't have to go' Peter said. 'How long will this go on for Peter' Carla asked. He didn't need to ask her to explain, they were on the same level, something Peter and Leanne would never be. 'I don't know, but it wont be forever' Peter said stroking her hair gently. 'I love you Peter' Carla said kissing his jawline. 'I love you too' he replied.

Meanwhile at the pub Karl had found the box with Carla's necklace in it, on the cab floor.

'Whats this?' Stella asked

'Oh Peter left it in the cab by mistake' Karl said

'Let me sneek a peak.. oh Karl it's gorgeous, Leanne is going to love it' Stella said

'Yeah he was out Christmas shopping, it is gorgeous' Karl said

'Must have been expensive!' Stella said

'I bet' Karl said taking it and putting it in his pocket

'I better give it back to him' Karl said heading out

As Peter left the factory Karl so him crossing the road. 'Peter, mate you left this in my cab' Karl said. Peter realized he was holding the box with Carla's necklace. 'Oh thanks' Peter said, hoping Karl hadn't looked at it. Karl didn't say anything as he didn't want Peter to think he and Stella were nosey.

He got back to the flat. Leanne would be back with Simon soon. He just wanted to be with Carla.. but he knew it would never be easy. He didn't know where to hide the necklace, so he stuffed it down the back of the sofa, where he had so many times stuffed the odd bottle of vodka, or gin. He couldn't wait to give it to her, he knew she would love it. He then put Leanne's present in a bag in the back of their wardrobe.

'I miss you x' Peter sent to Carla, before putting the kettle on.


	17. Chapter 17

Peter rang Carla's buzzer. She smiled as she buzzed him up. 'You ready?' he asked, before pressing his lips against hers, letting their skin graze against each other for a moment, before prizing her lips apart and kissing her properly.

'You know I waited so long for this I don't think I could ever get bored of it' she said, her hand stroking his rough cheek.

'Me neither' he smiled.

'Peter, you know.. how are things, with your drinking' she asked, taking his hand as she shut the door behind her.

'They all seemed to fade away when I realized you were the one' he said.

Carla smiled slightly, looking briefly into his eyes, and squeezing his hand.

'In many ways, I feel the same, but.. when you go.. the uncertainty of the situations can get the better of me.. and I feel tempted' Carla admitted.

'I know' Peter said, wrapping his arm around her waist. 'But together, we can deal with it, we understand each other.. I don't have to stay away from you' he said, smiling as he said it.

He took her into town, to the park. The chance that they would be seen was unlikely, and honestly, neither of them really cared if they were.. it was bound to happen sometime.

'I love being able to be like this with you, in the open' Carla said, the breeze hitting her face.

'Oh I feel the same, one day we will do this and no one will judge' Peter said reassuringly.

'I can't believe it is almost Christmas' Carla said, slightly randomly, looking up at the decorations the park had put up.

'I'll come and see you' he said gently.

'No, I understand.. you need to be with Simon, and Leanne' Carla said looking away slightly.

'But I want to be with you' he said stopping them, taking her other hand and looking into her eyes.

'So do I' she whispered.

'I'll find a way, I promise' he smiled, kissing her gently, before they continue walking.


	18. Chapter 18

Carla and Peter had managed to see each other several times, talking through things, laughing and admitting their fears. Their bond was as strong as ever, and now it was Christmas day.

Stella had come over to give Leanne her present.

'I got one for you too Simon' she smiled handing him the wrapped box.

'Oh what is it!' Simon said tearing the paper.

'Oh wow!' he said looking at the art box she had bought him.

'I thought you would like it' she smiled.

'What do you say Simon' Leanne said, picking up her present from Peter.

'Thank you!' he grinned.

'I wonder what it is' Leanne smiled at Peter.

She ripped open the paper, revealing a brand new mobile.

'Aw thanks love, I really needed a new one' she said kissing him on the cheek.

'Are there any more' Simon said

'That's all of them son' he said.

Stella looked over at Peter, giving him a confused look. 'What about the beautiful necklace' she thought.

'Get anything else love?' Stella asked Leanne.

'I got a lovely jumper from Diedre.. and some candles, nothing much' Leanne smiled getting up to put the kettle on.

Peter decided now was the moment to go and see Carla. Stella was hear keeping Leanne company, so she wouldn't miss him.

'I'm just popping out love, I will bring back something for us all to share' he said putting on his leather jacket, Carla's necklace in the pocket.

'Where you off to?' Leanne asked.

'I want to pop into see Dad and Diedre, and well, I promise Sam, a man who I saw at the AA meeting the other day, well, he alone on Christmas, I just want to say hello to him, make sure he is okay' Peter said, hating lying but knowing he had no other choice.

Leanne didn't want to kick up a fuss whilst Stella was here so nodded.

'You keep them company' Peter winked at Stella before leaving.

Carla sat in her home alone. She was watching a dire Christmas themed program, it wasn't very interesting. She had persuaded herself to buy a little tree, it always reminded her of those Christmas's she spent with Liam, Paul and Michelle years ago. Beneath the tree was a little box wrapped, for Peter. She didn't expect him to come, but when and if he did, she would give it to him.

She jumped when she heard the buzzer ring, butterflies in her stomach. She buzzed him up, smiling as he pushed the door open. He looked at her fondly, she was dressed down, in a pretty blouse and leggings, her hair tied loosely in a side ponytail.

'Told you I'd come' he smiled shutting the door.

'I'm glad you have, even if it is just for a little' she said sitting on the couch.

'I will stay for as long as we want' he said, reaching into his pocket. 'Here' she said putting the box in her hands.

She looked up at him, her eyes twinkling. She gingerly opened the box. 'Peter' she gasped as light danced of the beautiful necklace. 'I thought you would like it' he smiled. 'It is beautiful, perfect' she said, putting it on the couch and pulling him in for a hug. As her hug loosened slightly, his lips brushed the corner of her mouth. She responded, shifting her face so they could kiss properly. Their kisses because slightly more intense, his hand creeping around and resting on the small of her back. She felt the warmth from his palm beat against the skin beneath her blouse. His hand crept slowly beneath her shirt, so his skin touched hers, and he moved his hand up her back. Her hands were resting on his chest, and they paused for a second. 'Sorry' he said. 'Don't' she said, inhaling. She kissed him against before stopping. 'Just be gentle.. and don't.. don't, never mind' she said, resuming their kiss. He knew what she meant, she would stop him if she needed to. He pressed his hand against her back, encouraging her to shift her weight onto him. She straddle him, letting her arms hold his neck loosely, gently caressing the nape of his neck, and raking through his hair. He gently pulled her hair free of her pony tail, letting it cascade down her shoulders. His hands stroked her waist, appreciating her, loving her.


	19. Chapter 19

'Are you ok?' he says in between kisses

Carla nods 'Don't ask me that again' she said cupping his face and kissing him again, trying to get into the mood. She wants him, but she can;t quite shift the tension that is threaded through her body, a scar left by Frank.

Peter gingerly props himself up using his elbows, leaning against the armrest of the sofa. He admired her for a moment, giving her a loving look. He hands stroke his upper arms, drawing circles on his shoulders before reaching his shirt button. She paused but begins to undo them. She feels him hard against her and closes her eyes, knowing what is about to happen. He strokes her palm gently, feeling her slight apprehension.

'I love you' he whispers, reassuring her that this wont be a repeat of her horrific ordeal. She smiles slightly and looks down, he reached for the tie on her blouse and manages to undo it, helping her pull it over her head. She feels suddenly comfortable, he is appreciating her body, her whole being. He shrugs his shirt of, letting it fall to the floor.

'Shall we go to the bedroom' he suggestions.

Carla nods, taking his hand. He hasn't been into her bedroom before, it feels new and exciting. She leaned against the end of the bed, her hands falling to his belt. He can't help but grin. Leanne doesn't even cross his mind. He knows this is a big step for Carla, and he needs, and wants to devote himself entirely to her.

He rids himself of his jeans and Carla takes a deep breath, stepping out of the leggings.

He draws her in for a hug, holding her for a moment, before picking her up and laying her on the bed. He traces a pattern on her shoulder, moving down her body. She turns her head to kiss him, melting into his embrace. He gently moved his hand up her back, undoing her bra, she doesn't even notice, too comfortable nestling into his chest, kissing his neck.

He finished undressing himself before maneuvering himself on top of Carla. He gently stroked her hair, tracing his finger over her cheek and along the line of her bottom lip. She smiled at him, her eye lashes fluttering. He notice a slight tear sitting in the corner of her eye. He stroked it away.

'Are you comfortable?' he asked her. 'With you, yes' she let out a cheeky giggle, but he felt her nerves almost breaking through her skin. He wrapped her closer to his chest, as he moved gently against her.

Carla was relieved to feel so comfortable. Peter was loving and gentle, she could feel his love for her in his whole composure, his touch, his whole presence. He was as gentle as he could be and allowed her to enjoy herself rather than tremble under his grasp like Frank had.


	20. Chapter 20

Carla is laying on Peter, he head resting against his chest. 'Thank you' she whispers to him. Peter fondly squeezes her close, running his hand through her hair, before kidding her forehead. He knows it took a lot of guts to do that, but he knows she is happy and it is how she wanted.

'Where has he got to?' Leanne says out loud, wondering where Peter is

'He is going to miss Christmas dinner' Simon says, slightly sadly

'No he wont Si, we will wait for him' Leanne says

'I better go you know, Karl will be wandering where I am!' Stella exclaims, but she too is wondering where he is and why he didn't give Leanne the necklace

'Leanne will be wondering where you are' Carla said, stroking Peter's face

'I don't want to go' Peter said

'But you should, for Simon' Carla says

Peter sighs, 'After a coffee' he smiled

Carla pulls herself up, using the sheet to protect her modesty, as she still feels insecure every now and then. Peter's gaze dances over her body, he loves what he sees, inside and out.

She pulls a silky blue robe out of her wardrobe and ties it loosely. 'Your gorgeous you know' he says. 'Only because I'm happy' she says before going into the living room and putting the kettle on.

He follows her, putting on his jeans and shirt.

'Oh, I almost forgot' she says, rushing over to her tree and picking up the present.

He smiled, unwrapping it as she makes their coffee. He grins seeing an expensive rolex watch beneath the wrapping. 'You really didn't have to' he replies.

'Neither did you' she smiles, reaching for the necklace. 'Here' Peter says gesturing to do it up. 'What do you think?' she asks, flashing a smile. 'It looks better than I thought it ever would' he says, honestly.

They cuddle on the sofa for a while, sipping their coffee. 'Do you think we could ever really work' Carla asks, tiredly.

'I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't. I love you, and.. you love me, which are the most important things. I can't live without you Carla' Peter says.

'Me either, but.. how long will this go on for' she asks, looking down.

'I.. don't know.. but I'm not messing you around, I promise, I wouldn't' Peter says, reaching for her hand.

Carla nods 'I know you wouldn't.. but I can't help but worry it will end badly' she admits.

'Don't, just think of the future we will have together' he says, trying to smudge out any obstacles that were standing in their way.

Carla watched the clock, knowing he had to go. 'I'll see you soon' she says, resting her head on his shoulder. 'Tomorrow' he smiles, his hand rubbing the small of her back, in gentle circles. 'Peter, that was amazing' she says, looking into his eyes, smiling.

'It was wasn't it' he smiles, as she watches him leave.


	21. Chapter 21

As Peter walked home, all he could think about was Carla, and how perfect it had been. It was everything he wanted and more.

'You took your time' Leanne said, a slight annoyance in her voice.

'Sorry love, me and Adam, my friend got carried away, he really needed a chat' Peter lied.

'Well your here now, so we can eat! Poor Simon has been starving!' Leanne said rolling her eyes.

This just annoyed Peter, he wished he could be back with Carla.. but for SImon's sake he had to keep it together.

Alone in her flat, Carla suddenly missed Peter, and found her reflecting back on their time. It really had been a big step for her, but now, it was as though some of the memories, the cruel, vicious memories of Frank's attack, slamming her against the way, gripping her legs, pinning her down, had been replaced with tender memories of Peter holding her, stroking her, loving her.

'That was lovely Lea' Peter said finishing his dinner.

They sat down and put the telly on.

'So do you reckon that is a good idea?' Leanne asked

'Peter, hello, earth to Peter' Leanne said

'Sorry, what?' Peter said

'About the IVF, I will book an appointment, no point hanging around' Leanne said

'Lea, listen, I don't think we should do anything.. not yet, you know, I don't think we are ready' Peter said

'Come on, we have been trying for months.. we are more than ready' Leanne said

'Well I don't feel ready.. please not today, it is Christmas, I would rather not argue' Peter said

'This isn't over Peter' Leanne said huffing

'I know' Peter whispered

******************************

It was boxing day, and Peter had managed to get away to see Carla. They were cuddling on her couch. 'Who'd have thought we would be like this, eh?' Peter said. 'I wished it for a long time.. I never thought it would happen' Carla said. 'I'm sorry I waited this long' Peter said. 'You don't need to be sorry, you have a wife, and kid, I should never have gone after you like I did, it was.. insensitive.. but I just loved you' Carla said. 'Well none of that matters now.. but this, this does' Peter said. 'Have you thought anymore about when you are going to tell Leanne?' Carla asked. 'It is always on my mind, I think after the new year, I will just have to man up, man up and tell her' Peter said. 'What about Simon?' Carla asked. 'He won't like it, he will hate me, but I hope he will understand, and realize I am doing it for the best. Leanne will always be his mum, I know that, but I can't be with someone, when she doesn't have my love' Peter said. 'But you do love her Peter' Carla said, stroking his hand. 'In a way, yes, and I care about her deeply, but with you.. it is more intense, and.. I can be myself with you, I just.. love you' Peter said looking into her eyes.

Carla cupped his face, and leaned his for a kiss. He stroked the back of her neck.

Suddenly they heard footsteps and the lock turning in the door.

'Shit, bedroom' Carla said, as Peter literally jumped up running into her bedroom.

Carla, flustered stood up. 'Michelle! I wasn't expecting you back!' she said.


	22. Chapter 22

'Yeah, I took an earlier train, Ryan was going out.. have I missed something, is someone here?' Michelle asked, noticing Carla's slightly flushed face.

'No, why did you think that?' Carla laughed awkwardly and went to put the kettle on

'Just you look a bit.. embarrassed, and I thought I heard a noise' Michelle said

'No I'm alone.. I was just shocked a little..you know things make me jump these days' Carla said, they actually did, she recalled the other night being alone, and hearing a door slam and her heart had begun to race.

'Anyway how was Ryan?' Carla asked

'Oh he was fine, god I miss him already, but he having a great time' Michelle laughed

'I bet he is, listen why don't you go and have a bath, relax and then we can have a chat and catch up' Carla smiled

'Bless you, I think I will take that offer up' Michelle grinned before disappearing into the spare room to unpack

Carla took this moment to go into her bedroom, Peter was sitting on the bed.

'Close call' Carla said awkwardly.

'Yeah, listen I better go' Peter whispered, his hands wrapping around Carla's waist.

Carla nodded 'I know' before kissing him.

'You look after yourself' he said kissing her forehead.

Carla quickly scurried him out, shutting the door as quietly as she could. He lingered for a second, giving her another kiss, making her giggle slightly. She watched him leave before closing the door.

A while later Michelle came out in her towel. 'So, how are you Carla, you know' Michelle asked.

Carla bit her lip, she wished she could say since Peter's declaration of love for her things had been a little easier, but she couldn't. She hated lying to her friend.

'Things are okay.. I'm getting on with my life' Carla said, in the best way she could describe how she felt without giving anything away

Michelle nodded. 'I'm here for you, you know that' Michelle said.

'Same to you Chelle, I know with Keiran and everything that has gone on it can't have been easy' Carla said  
>'It didn't work out.. that's all, I'm coping' Michelle smiled<p>

'Aren't we both' Carla said


	23. Chapter 23

A few days had past. Peter was round at Carla's flat. They were kissing and cuddling on the sofa, making the most of the time they had before Michelle came back from her shopping trip.

'This is so perfect' Peter laughed.

'I know, I wish you didn't have to go' Carla said.

'I will be back tomorrow' Peter smiled.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. 'Bedroom' Carla said quickly. Peter got up and hid in her bedroom.

Carla opened the door, shocked to see Frank's mother, Anne standing there.

'What do you want?' Carla spat.

'Aren't you going to invite me in' Anne said pushing past Carla, and giving her flat the once over.

'How dare you waltz in here, I don't want you, or you fucking rapist son anywhere near me' Carla said.

'Oh how the lies continue' Anne retaliated.

'How dare you' Carla said, tears brimming in her eyes.

Peter could hear the conversation and so desperately wanted to come out and defend Carla, but he knew it would the worst thing he could do.

'Listen, you know as well as I do Frank is innocent. Drop the charges, do yourself a favour' Anne said.

'No, your the one who needs their head seeing to. Your just too ashamed to accept it. Your son raped me. In this house. I will not let him win' Carla said.

'Come on, it will only end in heart ache, you will look like a fool' Anne said.

'No, no, just get out' Carla cried.

'Well, I see I will have to up my game a little then' Anne sighed sitting down.

'Don't make yourself comfy' Carla said.

'How about 40%' Anne said.

'What?' Carla asked.

'You drop the charges and we will give you Frank's 40% of underworld back' Anne proposed

'You think you can bribe me? Are you actually being serious?' Carla asked.

'Incredibly so' Anne said.

'And you say 'we'. Are you and that twisted monster in this together, think you can offer me his dirty share and I will drop the charges.. well you thought wrong. So wrong. Now get out of my flat' Carla said angrily.

'What a fool you are. Frank said you were vindictive, nasty, selfish but not an idiot. Well we thought wrong. You wont win Carla' Anne said getting up, annoyed that Carla hadn't taken the offer.

'I'm the idiot? I don't think so. Now get out of my fucking flat and go back to your rapist of a son' Carla said practically pushing Anne out.

Before Anne could speak Carla had shut the door, tears falling from her eyes. Peter immediately ran out of the bedroom.

'Hey hey everything will be ok' he said wrapping her up in his arms.

Carla shook her head. 'Why is this happening? Maybe she is right. Maybe I am an idiot.. underworld is struggling, that 40% would be a great help' Carla said in his arms.

'But then you would be dropping the charges, and that would mean he had won. And he can't get away with this Carla, he can't and he won't' Peter reassured her.

'What would I do without you' Carla cried in his arms.


	24. Chapter 24

'You can't let him win honey, that bitch had no right coming over and bribing you like that' Michelle said, trying to comfort Carla the following day at the factory.

'But.. he is her son.. I suppose she doesn't want to imagine her son could be a rapist' Carla said.

'Yeah, course but treating his victim like she has been is disgusting' Michelle said.

'Can we just leave it Chelle' Carla said.

'Sorry hun' Michelle said seeing it still upset Carla greatly.

Carla took of her scarf and put her bag down.

'Wow, what a gorgeous necklace, is it new?' Michelle said looking at Peter's present to Carla.

'Erm yeah I bought it the other day' Carla said.

'Get you, looks expensive' Michelle said.

'Yeah it cost a bit' Carla said, her hand tracing over the necklace, thinking of Peter.

'Meet at 12.30 at the red rec x' - Carla smiled reading Peter's text.

'Michelle I might be a bit late back from lunch, I have a few errands to run, can you hold fort?' Carla asked.

'Course I can, what ya doing?' Michelle asked.

'Just need to go to the bank and various things' Carla said and Michelle nodded.

***

Carla saw Peter, leaning against the railings, taking a drag on his cigarette.

'Hey' she said coming up behind him, wrapping her hands around his waist.

'Hey' he said giving her a nicotine tainted kiss.

'So where are you taking me?' Carla grinned.

'Well, I thought we could go to that little italian restaurant on Finch Street' Peter said.

'Sounds lovely' Carla said taking his hand. His hand was warm and soft, and fit perfectly around hers.

'So what are you doing to ring in the new year?' Carla asked Peter.

He couldn't help but pick up on the slight sadness in her voice. 'Oh I have some really special plans' he said.

She looked at him 'Go on, make me jealous' she chuckled sadly.

'Well, they entail me being with a very beautiful, elegant, classy, kind, clever woman' Peter said.

'Oh and would I happen to know her?' Carla asked.

'Very well' Peter grinned as they walked together.

'What about Leanne and Simon' Carla asked.

'Don't worry about them. We will probably be at Dad's, with Tracy and Amy so they wont be alone.. and I am sure I can steal myself away to be with you' Peter said.

Carla smiled. It felt too good to be true.

***

As they sat in the restaurant, Carla removed her scarf and coat.

'I knew it would be be gorgeous on you' Peter said.

'What?' Carla asked.

'The necklace' Peter nodded towards it, smiling. He looked at her with his deep chocolate brown eyes. So kindly.

'I love it. I feel as though I am close to you whenever I wear it' Carla said.

'Oh your always near to me' Peter said.

***

'So I will see you tonight' Peter said.

'I hope so' Carla said, giving him a passionate kiss goodbye.

'Oh no need to hope, just look forward to it' Peter said.

As they parted Carla whispered 'I love you Peter' as she watched him walk of towards the bookies.


	25. Chapter 25

***

Firstly thank you so much for all your lovely reviews! Means a lot to me, glad your enjoying it!

***

Secondly, I am have almost written up to all the spoilers I know (6th Jan) so I am having to fill in order to keep you satiated until I know the following week of spoilers!

***

'What time do you send the girls off? x' Peter sent Carla. He was desperate to see her, and he knew it was around this time, 5.00pm that Carla's factory lot went home.

Carla's phone buzzed on the desk. She smiled seeing the text from Peter. '10 minutes x' She sent, knowing he would be coming round.

'Who was that from?' Michelle asked, noticing Carla's smile.

'Oh just Susie' Carla said, referring to an old friend.

Michelle raised an eyebrow 'Oh okay' she said.

'Listen Chelle why don't sign off now and I will meet you back at the flat, send that lot off as well' Carla said.

'If your sure, I'm gagging for a drink' Michelle laughed.

'Yeah, I'm sure, go on' Carla said, running her hands through her hair.

'Thanks love' Michelle said kissing her on her cheek.

'Off you go you lot, the boss is in a good mood.. so come on scarper!' Michelle said.

Carla smiled. She went to put the kettle on at the back of underworld, she knew how Peter liked his coffee, black, with no sugar. She smiled as she put a cup down for him.

He quickly crossed the road, telling Leanne that he had things to do. He slipped discretely into the factory.. unaware he was being watched.

She heard his footsteps and turned around. He gave her his trademark, soft, romantic smile. His eyes boring holes into her.

'Hey love' he said, his arms instinctively wrapping round her.

'How are you?' she asked.  
>'Great.. I couldn't wait until midnight to see you' he laughed.<p>

'Well I am glad your hear, I've sent everyone home.. so we have the place to ourselves' Carla said.

'You sound like this is your home!' he chuckled.

'More or less is.. sometimes feel's more like home than my flat.. after everything' Carla said.

'Yeah.. well anywhere is home.. as long as your there I am concerned' Peter said.

Carla smiled up at him, Peter's lips meeting hers.

She gripped his collar as his kisses descended down her neck, and across her collarbone.

He picked her up, propping her on one of the desks.

She giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

His hands toyed with her shirt buttons, grazing her skin.

'Hang on.. the more I think about this.. the more I realize I am sitting on Julie's desk and lets be honest.. that isn't very romantic' Carla said.

Peer responded by picking her up in his arms, and pulling her into the office.

'That better?' he asked her.

'Much' she smiled.

He felt her tense up slightly, as their bodies met intimately.

'Hey, it's okay' he said, knowing that Frank's assault still lingered heavily in her mind.

'I know.. it is just.. it still reminds me of... him' Carla said.

He ran his hands through her hair.. I know, but your with me..I love you' Peter said, holding her close, letting her close her eyes and enjoy the moment.

'Peter' Carla cried, gripping his back. He chuckled, loving how he made her feel happy and loved.

She glanced at the clock, realizing they had been longer than they thought.

'I'll try my best and get out again' Peter said doing up his buttons.

'Hey, I feel bad now, I don't want you to feel you have to' Carla said.

'Honestly Carla, the idea of ringing in the new year with the woman I love really is what I want' Peter said.

Carla smiled.

'Same' she said.

'Come here' Peter said taking her hand.

'I will see you later alright, I promise' Peter said kissing her nose.

'I will hold you to that' she winked at him, letting their foreheads meet and breath mingle.

'Guess what?' he said.

'What?' she said.

'I love you' he said.

'I'll never get tired of hearing those words' she said before letting him leave.


	26. Chapter 26

'How much longer?' Simon asked.

'About another hour Si!' Leanne chuckled.

Peter glanced at the clock. Tracey, Leanne, Amy, Simon, Ken, Steve and Deirdre were all crammed into Ken's living room. Part of Peter felt bad, he knew he should be there for Simon's sake, but he didn't want Carla to be alone. He knew she was sat in the factory, waiting.

'You alright Peter?' Tracey asked.

'Not really, you know I have an awful headache, I might just go out for a walk' Peter said convincingly.

'Oh poor love, want me to come with you?' Leanne asked.

'No, I wont be long' Peter said heading out.

He felt awful lying, he knew he was just dragging this out, and he felt weak for doing so but he owed Simon.. and Leanne a decent end to the year without his feelings for Carla destroying it.

Carla was sat in the factory. She didn't expect Peter to turn up. Not really. She looked up when she heard the door of the factory open, Peter standing there as if to say 'I told you I would come'.

He cocked his head to the side, gesturing for her to come with him.

'Quick' he said taking her hand, letting her lock up and quickly slipping away into the night together.

'Where are we going?' she asked.

'The red rec, they have a firework display there' he said.

'But what if we are caught?' she said. He looked at her, 'Okay, maybe not the best idea' Peter said, continuing to walk. She looked puzzled but followed.

'We can still see from here' he said, finding a bench on the outskirts of the park.

Carla sat next to him and leant her head on his shoulder.

They watched at the fireworks shot up into the air, a thousand colours exploding and bleeding into one.

Carla sighed. 'I don't know if I can do this any longer Peter' she said.

'What?' he asked.

'This' she said.

'But Carla, it's right' he said.

'Is it though? You have a wife at home who loves you.. and who has no idea' Carla said.

Peter didn't say anything.

'And then.. there is the trial.. this.. I'm scared, really scared, if this comes out.. oh god... I can't do this Peter' Carla said, as the realization hit her.

'Hey, Carla, shush. I promise you it wont go on for much longer, just understand how hard it is for me, I want to be able to walk down the street with you, hand in hand, kiss you without being judged, but I have to think of Simon, I have to' Peter said.

'I know, I know' Carla said, crying slightly.

'Not much longer' he said, in a whisper.

They sat and watched the fireworks for a little longer.

'Happy new year darling' he said, sealing it with a kiss.

***

'Where is he?' Simon said sadly.

'Hey it doesn't matter Si, he wasn't feeling well that's all' Tracey said.

Leanne bit her lip, bad timing for a headache.

***

'Go back to your family now Peter' Carla said, he could tell it was an order.

'I'll walk you home' he said.

Carla shook her head 'You have given me enough of your time today, Simon.. and Leanne need you now' Carla said.

'Your amazing you know' Peter said.

Carla looked away, 'Go Peter' she said.

He nodded, kissing her cheek and headed home.

Something felt wrong. She couldn't put her finger on it. But this situation, it was eating away at her. She and Leanne were no longer close. No longer friends. But shards of their lost friendship still remained in Carla's conscious. She felt selfish, and guilty. She had, in a weird way what she had wanted for so long - Peter. But she didn't really have him. And then there was the trial. How on earth would she cope. She felt scared, alone and suddenly wanted the whole world to swallow her up.


	27. Chapter 27

For some reason I can't reply to all your comments, so for those who have asked, yes, in general this fanfic is based on spoilers, but some of it (the last two chapters) were just me writing it, not based on any spoilers so don't take everything to literally! Thank you for all your lovely comments!

****

So, it was 2012. Usually she didn't care, she thought it was a little silly how people made such a big deal about this things. But this time.. it felt significant. Half of her was relived, she was leaving the year that she had been raped behind her. The year Carla Connor was changed forever. The year her confidence was torn to shreds, her dignity shattered, her pride kicked. The year she tried to end her life. But then again it was the year Peter told her he loved her, the year he made her feel as though she was only person he cared about.

Fuck it.

She was thinking things that she usually laughed at. She was pathetic. Peter had a family. He had a son. And he had a wife. Was she kidding herself? She didn't have Peter. If he really loved her, loved her like he said he did would he be having an affair with her. He would have ended his marriage no matter how ward it was.

He would have considered the effect this affair would have on her trial, when and if it came out.

Her hand seemingly instinctively found itself tracing itself alone the necklace he had given her. She wanted to rip it off her. She wanted to prove Frank hadn't broken her, stand up and tell Peter that she couldn't do this any longer. That she would never be the other woman again. That if he loved her like he said he did, he would leave Leanne now and just do the right thing.

But she couldn't.

It was like a weird trace of him. And no matter how much she wanted to do, she couldn't bring herself to part from him. In anyway at all.

She sighed and wandered back to her house. Her unconscious thoughts brought her a particular way and she found herself delving into her purse and handing over the money, walking out with a heavenly bottle of rose.

'You can't. You have to fight it' she said aloud.

Fuck that. She didn't have to fight anything. She wasn't an alcoholic. She wasn't. She just had a tendency to drink a little too much, and at the wrong times. It was the new year, she deserved a drink right?.


	28. Chapter 28

The sound of the punt of the wine glass hitting her marble work tops brought her back to reality. That was a sound she had heard so many times. Usually followed by the sound of one of her fine glasses clinking against the marble, and then the sound of the opulent red liquid filling the glass.

I can't.

She hadn't had this kind of struggle for a while. She wanted to drown her sorrows and thoughts in a vat of vino and be done with it. God, she almost felt suicidal again. Leanne's words from those weeks ago haunted her still.

'Well if she lied about being behind the wheel of a car that almost killed somebody, what else would she lie about? Being raped? ... When I tell the truth about you there wont be a single sole on this street that will have anything to do with you. Your finished Carla. You know what I've had enough of this. I don't want to look at you, I don't want to talk to you, your a waste of skin.'

A waste of skin. That is how she felt right now. Leanne was right, although this time she wouldn't be telling the street about how she almost killed Stella in a drunken rage. No, she also bedded her husband. And god, no one would believe her then, about being raped. She would be finished.

Warm, silky, clean, fruity, cold, harsh, bitter, sharp. It ran down her throat, a seemingly endless stream of miracles that would take away her pain. Numb her.

***

'Carla open the door. 'Carla'. She hears a faint thudding against the door. Its fuzzy, hazy, rough around the edges, but somehow, despite the fact she is suffering from a heavy hangover, his warm, husky, loving voice cuts through and finds its way to her heart.

She groans. Fuck. He'll know she was drunk. Shit.

'Coming' she calls, although she sounds half dead. Getting up is harder than she thinks. But somehow she makes it across the room and opens the door.

'How did you get up here' she slurs. 'Someone let me in... are you.. drunk?' he asks.

She nods..'Hangovers.. forgot how awful they were' she says, almost sounding sober.

'Carla.. why?' he asks, they parted on such.. good spirits last night.

'This is too hard Peter. I can't do it' she says, tears stringing her cheeks.

'But we talked about this, it wont be forever... we can't live without each other' Peter said.

'Then why can't we tell them.. it's past Christmas now.. it's now or never Peter, Simon isn't going to be any less hurt if you tell him now or in three months' Carla said.

Peter looks down. He knows he is being selfish. Prolonging it for as long as possible. He is hurting her, and it kills him. He is a coward.

He is crying now.

'I'm sorry. I don't deserve you. I'm treating you badly.. and you've been raped.. (she closes her eyes as he says it).. and' he stumbles over his words.

'Your not doing this out of pity are you' she says. His presence seems to have brought her back to a sober frame of mind.

'No, god no, Carla, fuck is that what you think? I love you more than life itself' he says, grabbing her face in his cold hands, stroking the tears away. He kisses her, suddenly their passion turning into strong, desperate kisses, drawing the life out of each other.

'Stop' she says.

'What, please, I need you, I want you' Peter says.

'This isn't going to make it go away Peter' she says.

'I know.. please just a little longer, please' he says looking into her eyes, searching for a little understanding.

She sighs, deeply, expelling what seems to be her entire lung capacity of air. And the she nods.

He smiles, a pure smile, a grateful one, a loving one, and confused on. He takes her into his arms, nestling his face into her hair, breathing in her scent. He finds himself pulling her onto sofa, his hands caressing her body, grasping her skin, stroking it, as though he is trying to merge them into one. She grips his leather jacket, taking in the faint cigarette smell that constantly lulls on this presence.

'I want you so badly' she says.

'You've got me. Have me.. take me' he says.

She shakes her head. 'Just hold me, and don't let me go' she says, falling against his chest, moving in sync with the rise and fall of his chest. 


	29. Chapter 29

She must have fallen asleep as when she awoke her apartment was dark and moody. She felt safe in Peter's arms. He hadn't let her go. His hand was rubbing gentle circles on the small of her back. She felt the need to cling to him.

'Hey' he said noticing she had awoken.

She smiled weakly up at him, her finger tracing a delicate figure of eight on his tattooed bicep.

'I hate the fact I feel the need to say go home to Leanne and Simon' she said.

'Then don't' Peter said.

'You have to Peter, you know you do' Carla said.

'I want to stay with you tonight' he said smiling at her and kissing her head.

'Peter, I want you to but what are you going to tell Leanne. I mean there is no point in keeping our relationship secret if your just going to make her suspicious anyway' Carla said, pulling away from him slightly.

'Ergh, I suppose your right' Peter said scratching his head. He wanted to be with her, make love to her, spend time with her. But he couldn't.

*****

'Just had an email from Laden's, they want another order' Michelle said grinning.

'Oh, that's great isn't it' Carla said, her mind on Peter.

'Yeah, you alright love?' Michelle said, Carla nodding

*****

'Shut up she's coming' Sean said

'What's that Sean' Carla said.

'Nothing Miss C' Sean said but guilt was written all over his face.

'I'm not stupid, I know something is up' Carla said.

'Okay, we didn't want to tell you, we thought it would upset you but your deserve to know' Sean said,

'Know what?' Carla snapped.

'Sally and Frank...' Sean said.

'What about them' Carla said, quivering at the mention of Frank's name.

'They are.. going out apparently' Sean said.

Carla's face fell. God she wouldn't would she. She knew Sally disliked her, she knew Sally.. well was on Frank's side. But dating him? Seriously. Wasn't she even just the slightest but put off by Frank's 'alleged' actions. Fucking hell she hated that word. He wasn't an alleged rapist. He was a cold blooded monster.

She felt a tear streaking down her cheek. She wiped it away fiercely.

'I'm sorry' Sean said slightly unsure of what to do.

'Is she an idiot. A complete an utter idiot' Carla said, suddenly, her hatred for Sally turned to fear. She despised the way Sally had, still was treating her, but having experienced Frank's dark side, she wouldn't want any other woman to go through it. It had left her scarred for life. She would never fully recover from his actions.

'I have to go.. to talk to her' Carla said.

Michelle had been listening to the conversation and herself was lost for words.

'No, Carla, don't, just leave it.. it is her problem' Michelle said.

Carla turned round, fire in her eyes.

'You weren't raped by him. You don't know what he is like. I might hate Sally for the way she doesn't believe me.. her and.. his Mum, they make me feel like it is my fault... but she can't.. she can't go through it.. it is terrifying.. I... have to do something' Carla said, almost panting with fear.

'Okay, Carla, calm down.. at least have a think about it' Michelle said, taking Carla into the office.

*****

'What if she gets hurt, it will be my fault for not doing anything wont it' Carla said.

'It wont be your fault, just.. give it a few days.. you have enough on your mind love' Peter said, not wanting to worry about this extra stress after everything.

Carla nodded, but in her heart she knew she wouldn't listen. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Hope you all enjoy.. I tried to make it tasteful.. as many of you know I am rubbish and very shy when it comes to writing any scenes like this! I hope it is okay**

_And your love comes back like a faithful tide_  
><em>Teaching everything I know<em>

It had been a few days since Carla had found out about Frank and Sally. she had managed to temporarily put it at the back of her mind, after Peter had paid her an early morning visit at her flat on the way back from taking Simon to school.

He grinned at the sight of her, dark hair tousled and damp from the shower, her bathrobe slightly open revealing more than she intended.

'You look gorgeous' he smiled. She gave a smile back, still a hint of shyness left, although she felt more comfortable with Peter than she had with anyone for a long time. He walked into the room, following her into the bedroom.

'Hey I need to get changed' she giggled. 'I know you do, thought I could help' Peter said walking up to her, and letting his hands rest on her hips. He kissed her damp shoulder, little droplets of water running down her back. She felt his hands wander, up her leg and around her back. 'I need to get to work Peter' she said, although she didn't sound that desperate.

'I know you do, but no harm in being a little late' he said, stroking her face and looking into her eyes lovingly. She sighed and complied with his obvious urges.

She felt him hard against her thigh, and wrapped her arms around his neck. 'Peter' she whispered, as began to undo his jeans. He met her gaze, recognizing the little well of fear in her eyes. He paused, and let her have a moment to just be loved. He didn't bring it up, but knew he still had to be careful with her, Frank's brutal assault obviously still very prevalent in her mind.

He sat on the bed, letting her feel more in control/ She climbed onto his lap, straddling him. He smiled, grateful that she was willing to go this far with him and let him help her heal from Frank. His hands fell to her hips, pulling her closer as they established a rhythm. Their bodies moved in unison, as though they were one. Their love for each other became tangled and intertwined, as though they would always be a part of one and other. It felt so perfect, as though it should have always been this way.

_Savoring, the pure desire_  
><em>The passions come undone<em>  
><em>With every kiss the colours change<em>  
><em>Bleeding into one<em>

'I love you' Peter whispered, gently wishing away Frank's hold on Carla and trying to replace it with a tender wash of words and love from himself.

'I love you too' Carla said as he held her close to him, reaching his climax. She lay against his chest, listening to his breath as it's rate decreased, matching hers.

'I'll see you soon' Peter said, playing with a strand of her hair. He kissed her gently on her lips, her hands wrapping around his neck, stroking the hair on the nape of his neck. She giggled slightly, kissing his nose, before returning the kiss and letting him prize her lips open with his tongue. 'Oh I wish we didn't have to do this so secretly' he said. They were on the street around the corner from the factory, it was seemingly empty. But their efforts were a little naive as little did they know they were being watched intently by none other than Stella...


	31. Chapter 31

Before they saw her the heard the sound of hard heels smacking the pavement, then the cobbles. The sound reverberating through the early morning, icy winter air. The both stood frozen for a moment, as though if they just kept silent, the sound would pass and miss them. But they both knew it was heading straight for them, like a bullet finding its way into the body of some poor soul.

They looked, their faces both a photographic still of shock, at the woman who was walking towards them.

Stella.

'Fuck. Shit. Run? No, were not kids' Peter said in a quiet, hurried voice.

Carla was silent. She looked down. Guilt suddenly drowning her, the pressure building in her body until it forced it's way out of her in the form of salty tears collecting in the corners of her eyes.

'Stella... we... I' she stuttered. Stella looked less than impressed by her attention was firmly on Peter, her body almost excusing Carla.

Peter's face was a mixture of guilt, passion and relief.

'Listen, please can we not do this here' was the first thing he said.

Stella raised an eyebrow 'Peter what an earth are you doing, your married' she said angrily.

'I know.. it is complicated, you don't know half of it' he said, trying to justify his actions.

'Listen Stella we can explain' Carla said.

'I don't want to here it Carla, I.. ' Stella said, bemused.

'Stella, I don't want Leane to get hurt, it is just... Carla..' Peter said glancing over at his lover.

'Don't want her to get hurt? Your having an affair Peter, publicly kissing another woman in the street... she doesn't deserve this' Stella said.

Peter looked genuinely ashamed 'I'm sorry.. it's just... I love her' Peter said, his hand searching for Carla's without looking down.

'What about Leanne?' Stella said, feeing for her daughter.

'I still care about her, but I can't fight this any longer' Peter said.

'Then why are you having an affair, don't you have a shred of decency?' Stella spat, but pleading all the same.

'Stella I do... it's just... Carla... the trial' he said sadly.

Stella paused for a moment, she hated what they were doing, but she had formed a strange, silent bond with Carla, knowing that she was the only person she had ever told about her rape, they had both experienced the dark side of a man... both had their bodies stolen from them. And behind those sparkling green eyes, glowing from being fed with Peter's love, was a lost soul, a damaged, sad, abused, lonely, desperate, broken person. A person she recognized. Someone who had had their soul tenderly caressed before being ripped to shreds in a matter of moments, by Frank.

Carla and Stella's silent exchange of looks lasted only a minute or so, but in that time an entire conversation was shared.

Stella took a breath. Not one of them had to explain what an affair would do to Carla's trial. It would leave a irrevocable footprint, stain, bruise, scar on her testimony. It could ruin the chance of a vile, evil rapist getting what he deserved.

And she couldn't do it. She could never take that precious possibility, the possibly of Carla getting justice away from her.


	32. Chapter 32

Carla looked up from her desk. She had half expected to see her face, but it still made her look down with guilt. She gestured for her to come in.

'Michelle, can you do me a favour and go and buy some cakes for the girls, and Sean' Carla asked.

'Been promoted to cake buyer now?' Michelle asked.

Carla let out a nervous laugh, but her face became serious.

'Alright love' Michelle said nodding, realizing Carla wanted to speak to Stella alone.

'See you Stella' Michelle said before leaving.

Carla bit her lip. 'Sit down' she said. 'Do you want a coffee... tea?' she asked.

Stella shook her head. 'Carla, why?' she asked bluntly.

Carla was dreading this. 'Stella.. you probably hate me for it.. but you wont understand' Carla said.

'Try me, that is my daughter.. I care about her.. I don't want her getting hurt' Stella said.

'I know.. I understand.. she is.. was my friend' Carla said.

'Then why are you you doing it?' Stella asked.

'I don't want to.. but I love him.. I can't live without him' Carla said.

'What about Leanne, she loves him.. can't live without him' Stella said.

'He loves me.. he said he would leave her, but he couldn't go through with it.. because of Simon... because he cares... I'll wait if that's what it takes.. and with the trial.. I know it's a mess' Carla said, struggling to explain.

Stella sighed. She was angry. Annoyed. Hurt. But she didn't know who with.

'I just don't understand.. after everything.. the rape' Stella said.

'Don't judge me. Please. I've trusted Peter for a long time. I've loved him.. for months. He.. makes me feel safe.. I still see Frank.. there, in my mind, I jump at noises, I see him, feel him.. but with Peter.. it goes away' Carla said.

Stella sighed. What could she say.. or do. She didn't want to ruin Carla's chances of having Frank convicted. But she didn't want to see Leanne hurt... and she didn't want to know all this. She wished she hadn't seen Peter and Carla kissing, because now, whether she liked it or not, she knew. And she was torn. What was she to do?


	33. Chapter 33

6th of February 2012.

That was the date. She swallowed her strong coffee. Washing away her nerves with each gulp.

'Hey, I know your scared. But try and think of it.. as the day you get justice' Peter said calming rubbing the small of her back.

'I'm trying.. but I am scared.. what if he knows something.. what about us, what if Stella..' Carla said.

'She wont' Peter said kissing her neck gently.

'I hope so Peter.. I really do' Carla said.

He wrapped his arms around her waist, taking the letter from her hands and putting it down on the counter.

'What if he mentions that I.. was in the driving seat... driving the car' Carla said.

'Why would be. It wont would make him look bad too. I mean he lied to the police' Peter said.

'But so did I. So did you. He is already in the shit with this whole case.. he has nothing to loose' Carla said.

'Carla, stop it, you will make yourself sick, just focus.. on the future' Peter said.

'What future' Carla said, sadly.

'Us. Me, you.. and Simon' Peter said.

'Do you really think Simon will take to me?' Carla asked.

'In time, yes. I don't doubt he will hate us both for a while. But.. in the long run.. I think he will understand' Peter said.

'I hope so.. I don't want to let you down. You know I can't be like Leanne.. I'll never be like her with him' Carla said.

'I wouldn't want you to be. Just be you' Peter said.

Carla sighed. She didn't know what their future held. She wanted to believe it would be beautiful, fun and exciting, but in reality she knew it would probably be anything but that. But she loved him. She loved him more than she could express with each breath. And that was all that mattered. She was beautiful, worthy, loved in his arms.


	34. Chapter 34

Carla lay awake that night. She wish she was swaddled in Peter's arms, but instead, she was beneath cold, crisp blankets, in a cold, stale room.

She sighed, willing her body to sleep. Since Peter had brought up Simon earlier, she couldn't shift the thoughts of what she imagined his face to be like when Peter told him, he and Leanne were splitting up.

She had lived through a sad, lonely childhood. She couldn't remember the last time her mother pulled her in for a hug, stroked the back of her head, spoke gentle words to her. She didn't remember the last time she had been told she was loved by her mother. She hadn't been blessed with a happy childhood... if you can even call what she had a childhood.

If her and Peter did do as they said, would they be breaking, ruining Simon's childhood? She kept telling herself, eventually he would accept her, not as his mum.. despite what she thought, she was his mum, or at least the next best thing to a mum. Even if she had wanted to, which she didn't, she could never be as attentive as Leanne, it just wasn't her.

But she wasn't the cold hearted monster everyone thought she was either. She didn't mind little Liam, she thought she was fairly good with him. He reminded her of Liam in many ways, her Liam. And Ryan, he had grown up around her, the number of times she had been babysitting for Michelle was countless.. and she enjoyed it. And little Amy, well she had spent a bit of time with her when Michelle had been dating that useless old Steve... she was rather sweet.

There was no way she could pick out a clear, distinct path for her and Peter.. she had no idea where they were heading. But she knew for one thing, it had to be them, together. Peter was fast, and furiously becoming her life. Her one and only. She felt like she couldn't breath without knowing he was there.. somewhere, her safety net.

_Your love's got me going around and around_

_And it's taking me over_

_Your love's got me tumbling upside down_

_And I want you to know it_

_Your love's got me going around and around_

_And it's taking me over_

_It you, you, you, it's only you_


	35. Chapter 35

Right all, I am going away tomorrow so this will be my last update for about a week/ two weeks! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas :D Enjoy Carter! ;) I will update this when i get back! (If your lucky you might get another little update tonight or tomorrow morning!

'Hey, how are you today' Carla said as Peter and Simon stepped out of the shop.

'Hey' Peter said, his eyes melting as they met Carla's.

'We bought sweets! Do you want one?' Simon asked offering Carla her pick from the little white paper bag.

'No love, you keep them to yourself!' Carla smiled, her eyes meeting Peter's again.

'Of anywhere nice then?' Peter asked her.

'Oh just work, you off to school Simon?' Carla asked.

'Yep' he said.

'Bit naughty giving him sweets this early aint it?' Carla said.

'Shush, I have naughty tendencies I do' Peter said, winking at Carla, Simon blissfully unaware of the sexual tension between Peter and Carla.

'Well I reckon your going to be late if you don't hurry up' Carla said.

'That's what I said, he is so slow this one' Simon said looking up at his Dad.

'Wise beyond his years this kid' Carla thought.

'Well hurry up then! Poor kid' Carla chuckled.

'See you later' Peter said, smiling at Carla, restraining himself from kissing her by looking away slightly.

'Bye' Simon said walking of with his Dad.

'Bye' Carla whispered watching Peter walk away.

She quickly turned the blinds so that they were closed.

'Where is Michelle?' Peter asked.

'Oh I don't know, I sent her off, don't worry' Carla said.

Peter smiled, leaning back in the chair gesturing for her to join him.

She walked up to him, sitting on his lap. His arms wrapped round her waist. She toyed with the hair on the nape of his neck.

'Simon's a good kid isn't he' she said.

Peter nodded. 'The best'.

'Peter.. has Stella spoke to you since..' Carla said.

'No.. I've managed to avoid her. But.. yeah' Peter said.

'She came to see me.. to ask why. I tried to explain.. I have no idea what she will do..' Carla said.

Peter smiled at her gently. 'We are together right.. that is what counts' he said.

She returned his smile with a peck on the lips, before letting her head rest gently on his shoulder. He was telling her everything she had always wanted to hear.

'Remember when I came to see you.. after I ... hurt Stella.. and you were so sure you didn't love me' Carla said.

Peter sighed. 'I'm sorry.. then.. I didn't realize really. I was in denial or something, I don't know.. it doesn't matter now.. please don't remind me of how I hurt you' Peter said rubbing her back.

'Okay.. but you seemed so sure' Carla said.

'I am sure now, I am sure today.. forever. I love you' Peter said holding her tightly.


	36. Chapter 36

Happy New Year for tonight! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!

Stella hadn't said anything. She just couldn't. She felt torn, one part of her wanting to tell all to Leanne, be faithful to their fragile new relationship. But being the victim of rape, she knew how delicate Carla would be, and how her court case might be shattered. She had no doubt that Frank had rapes Carla. She may not have known Carla well before the rape, but she could see it in her eyes - the fear, the pain, the never ceasing memories. It was all too familiar.

Carla pulled up outside the factory. She juggled various files and her handbag. She got out of her car to hear Sally and Kevin bickering.

'He could be dangerous... why are you being so stupid?' Kevin shouted at Sally.

'He isn't dangerous. Frank is a lovely man. A good man. He has been hurt by her lies' Sally said, acknowledging that Carla had got out of the car and gesturing to her.

'Your so naive Sally. I was too. He is dangerous. He r... attacked me. He is the liar' Carla said, finding it hard to say the word in such a public place. She still felt ashamed.

'I know Frank. He is a lovely man. He didn't rape you. Your lying. You just wanted to get him out of your hair. Your finished Carla, when everyone sees he is innocent next month.' Sally said. Her words echoing Leanne's harsh dialogue months back.

Carla gave Sally a harsh look.

'He's throwing a party tonight. Out of good will. For his clients and friends. They know he is a good man' Sally said.

'Believe what you like then Sally. But watch your back. Please' Carla said, turning around and heading into the factory.

Sally didn't reply. There was a small, a small, small part of her that took in Carla's advice. And stored it away.

Carla wasn't going to let people believe Frank. She felt so angry that he was getting away with it. Getting away with hurting her, raping her, violating her so badly. He wouldn't. He couldn't.


	37. Chapter 37

Peter and Carla were lying on the sofa. Peter was at an 'AA' meeting as far as Leanne was concerned.

'I wish I could stay here tonight' Peter said, playing with Carla's hand lightly.

'So do I, but Michelle will be back soon, and you really can't' Carla said, sighing slightly.

'Hey, not long until I can' Peter said kissing her neck, his favorite thing to do.

'You keep saying that Peter, but I'm scared you know' Carla said.

'Shush, don't be' Peter said.

'We can't just brush the truth away Peter. I am worried you wont go through with it' Carla said.

'I will. I promise. I love you' Peter said.

They remained on the sofa for a little longer before Carla suddenly got up.

'You okay?' Peter asked her.

'Yeah.. no, I have to go to Franks, now' Carla said.

'Don't Carla, I said before, it isn't a good idea' Peter said taking her hand.

She pulled away 'No I really need to. He can't get away with having cosy parties, entertaining his.. my clients' Carla said

'And what good will it do eh? You'll only cause a scene' Peter said.

'Who's side are you on' Carla snapped.

'You don't need to ask Carla. Come here' Peter said, aware she was in a bit of a state.

She relaxed in his arms a little, inhaling his musky, cigarette scent.

'I need to' Carla said, her tone slightly sad.

Despite Peter's best efforts, Carla was stubborn and ended up going.

She knocked on the door. An aggressive, loud knock.

Anne opened the door, Carla storming in before she could stop her.

'Get out' Anne said sharply.

'Do not tell me what to do' Carla said walking into the living room, where Frank, Sally and all their guests were.

Everyone looked at Carla. Frank looked down.

'Please can you leave. Haven't you done enough' he said.

'Me? How dare you. You attack me... no (she takes a deep breath), you rape me and expect me to sit quietly and let you get away with it. Well I wont. I wont let you win' Carla said.

'Carla, Carla, your making a fool of yourself, I think you should go, now' Frank said.

'That's right. Your not wanted' Sally said.

Carla turned to face Sally.

'He might have you wrapped around his little finger, but you do not tell me what to do' Carla shouted.

The guests began to disperse, and leave. Frank sighed.

'Well you got what you wanted. Ruined this evening' he said.

'You've ruined my life' Carla retaliated.

'You seem to be doing pretty well as far as I can see' Frank said.

'I'm living Frank. I am trying to have some semblance of a life. No thanks to you' Carla said.

'Oh come of it' Anne said standing beside Frank.

'Can you just shut the fuck up?' Carla said bitterly.

'Don't you have that tone with me' Anne said.

'Leave Carla. You've done enough' Sally said.

'I'll leave. But your making the biggest mistake of your life Sally. When he is rotting in jail you will see that' Carla said storming off.

'Good riddance' Anne said, but she had noticed how quiet Frank had been. He couldn't have... could he?


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey all. I don't know what has happened - I seem to have acquired severe writers block! So, sorry if the next update isn't very good! Aware I am now behind the actual Storyline itself - as you can see my updates were slightly difference to the script.**

'I need to see you' Carla texted Peter.

She waited by the viaduct for him. She was shaking slightly. Had she just made a massive mistake?

It didn't take long for Peter to arrive.

'Are you okay?' he asked, pulling her in for a brief hug, aware they had to be careful with public displays of affection.

'No, Peter, did I just make a mistake?' she asked.

'I don't think it helped you going round love. It just makes you look, I don't know, your worked up, come on, let me take you home' he said.

She nodded and they managed to creep away unnoticed.

Back at the flat they found themselves in a gentle, calm embrace on the sofa. Peter was stroking Carla's hair gently. He wanted her to relax, and drift of to sleep. He wished he didn't have to leave her.

Two days later.

'You going out?' Michelle asked Carla, who sitting at her desk, completely distracted and applying some lip gloss.

'Mmm?' Carla asked.

'Are you going out?' Michelle asked.

'Oh right, yeah, appointment with the bank manager, you know the guy in the suit who gives me ma allowance' Carla teased. She was excited about seeing Peter. The prospect of seeing him made her day worth while.

Michelle gave Carla a face as she pulled her coat on. She seemed jolly. Too jolly. She bounced away, a spring in her step.

Her buzzer went and she let Peter up. She hovered at the door for a while, he had his hands in his pocket and a cheeky grin. 'Oh darling, don't just stand there' Carla said, grabbing hold of his collar and pulling him inside. He kicked her door closed as she did so, responding to her fiery kiss, their tongues battling for dominance. He was glad she was in a good mood. With the upcoming trial, happiness was something that lay few and far between for her. He let his hands snake down her body, stroking her curves, and pulling closer. She let out a dirty giggle as his kisses found their way down her neck and along her collar bone.

'Stay the night with me?' she asked, fueled by this sudden passion.

He stroked the side of her face. 'You know I can't love, as much as I want to' he said.

She pouted, but soon resumed kissing. She had expected that answer.

He moved her to the couch, slowly their passion mellowed and the kisses slowed, and she found herself resting gently on his chest.

'Seeing your sponsor are you?' she grinned.

'Oh yes, my very, very sexy sponsor' he said kissing her nose.

'Leanne is unaware isn't she' Carla said, sighing slightly.

'Totally. She wanted to come with me, you know to see my 'sponsor', moral support and all that. She is being so..' he was cut of by Carla.

She closed her eyes, putting her hands over her ears. 'No, no, I can't deal with all that. Leanne and Simon. If I think about that.. I won't be able to cope Peter' she said.

'Sorry, I should have thought' he said reassuring her.

She silenced him with a kiss. 'It is all about me, and you, now' Carla said.

'I know Carla, but we might not talk about it.. the future' he said.

'Too right we don't' Carla said.

'But Carla. I love you. So much. I'm never giving up on you. Never' he said kissing her temple and closing his eyes as he soaked in the sheer bliss of his love for her.

She drowned in his promises. She could stay like this, with him, forever.

'I hate skulking around though Peter' she said.

'So do I. But we haven't got a choice. If only Michelle didn't live here' Peter said.

'Oi, I'll have you know that when your not here, which is most of the time, she is, and that's company. That's security' Carla said.

'I know, I'm sorry, I just wish we could... have the place to ourselves a bit more often' he said.

'How do you think I feel? I wish I could come round to yours without being caught. Come and visit you when your at work.. but we just can't' Carla said.

'Hmm' Peter said.

'What' Carla said poking him in the cheek.

'Well, it's a bit drastic.. but.. we could find somewhere, rent somewhere?' he suggested.

'What, like, for us?' Carla said.

'Yeah, somewhere we could meet up. Without the risk of being walked in on. Somewhere we could call our own, just for the next few weeks, our special little place' Peter said.

Carla smiled. 'I'd like that. Infact, I'd love it' she said shifting and moving herself on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pushing a strand of hair out of her face as she pecked him on the lips.

'I'll have a look tonight. Thank you' she said.


	39. Chapter 39

**_Right everyone, I'm sorry I haven't updated in about a month. I completely lost inspiration and had major mind block with this fix._**

**_I'm so behind so I am going to skip right up to current corrie - exept a few months ahead. Frank has been found not guilty, and as we have seen is attempting to buy the factory off Carla. For now, Carla hasn't given up and is continuing to fight Frank._**

**_This is set about a month ahead of a time. Leanne isn't back.. yet._**

**_Pretty much the same as what's on TV, only Stella obviously already knew about the affair and kept it to herself. When Leanne told her that Carla was driving she flipped and basically had a go at Carla and Peter like onscreen._**

**_I also think I will from now on go in a direction completely differently to the spoilers, as I have some ideas I want to write out :) As always reviews appreciated, might take me some time to get back into the flow of this fic!_**

**_Starting it however with a short chapter a based on the last episode._**

(Weekend after the trial)

Peter smiled as he woke up next to Carla. For the first time, they weren't sneaking around, having an affair. They were together. A team.

'Hey darling' he said as her eyes flickered open. Carla smiled, her hand creeping up to rest on his chest. 'You okay?' he asked her knowing it must be hard for her knowing Justice hadn't been done. She sighed heavily, 'I wont let him win. He can't ruin me.. anyway, I have you' she said desperately trying to be strong. 'God on you, I'll be here for you love, you mean the world to me, let's not let Frank ruin that' Peter said, running hand through her hair. 'I wont. I love you so so much' Carla said still finding it hard to believe she was in the arms of the man she loved so dearly.

'You sure you want to go back today, we can spend the morning here.. or go to Roy's Peter said. 'Somehow I don't think people will be best pleased seeing us together' Carla said. 'They'll have to get used to it. There isn't any point hiding away and pretending we aren't together. We are, and we need to show people we are serious' Peter said. 'Yeah, but people are fond of Leanne. I don't want to rub it in' Carla said. 'We won't be rubbing it in. Anyway, the only people I care about are you, Simon, Dad and Deirdre right now. Carla smiled, and stretched her arms out, inviting Peter to wrap her up in his embrace. 'Anyway, I have to go to work, I need to move on, I can't let him break me' Carla said as Peter nodded. 'I need to go and check on Si.. lets walk together' Peter said as Carla smiled and took his hand.

'Okay, so I know your all gossiping about me. I don't care what you think of me, but know one thing. I did not lie about.. about Frank raping me. If that's the last thing you believe.. then so be it, but believe it' Carla said to her workforce, Michelle behind her. 'We weren't gossiping Miss's Connor' Hayley said gently. 'No, be my guest. I wouldn't blame you if you were' Carla said. 'No, it's just, you know, we are fond of Leanne.. and..' Hayley stuttered. 'Hayley, neither me or Peter set out to hurt anyone. We didn't, but it's happened. I love Peter. That's all I'm saying' Carla said disappearing into the office.

(Later that evening)

'How dare you. Your a monster. You think you can get away with raping me, ripping my life apart and now you want to take this place away from me. No way, no way Frank. I won't let you get what you want. I'm the boss here. You might own 40% but I won 60% so I'm in charge. You know what I think of that offer. It's a piece of shit. My shares are worth twice that. Rot in hell your fucking bastard' Carla said before storming out of the factory back to her flat


	40. Chapter 40

**Thanks for all the kind reviews by the way :) (Slightly inspired by the beautifully written 'Agoraphobia' fix by Flesh Canoe (hope you don't mind me using a similar idea for this chapter)**

A month had past. Frank was still working in the factory, but it was hard. Carla wasn't coping. She suppressed her feelings of worry and hatred for the sake of her baby; Underworld. But damage was being done elsewhere, manifesting itself in other, rotten ways. Simon wasn't responding well either, granted, he didn't kick and shout when Carla stayed at Peter's, but he didn't make it is easy for them. He didn't smile, or greet Carla warmly. She understood, she had never expected him to, he missed his mum, his old life; stability. People were coming round to the concept of Carla and Peter together, slowly. But there were those who weren't - Stella would give Carla and Peter glares of steel, anger so painfully evident in her eyes.

Leanne was returning this week. Carla knew this would make it harder. Simon would relish in the fact she was back. Course that was a good thing, for him, but she feared, feared it would eat away at her and Peter's already fragile relationship.

He looked at her sometimes, with those deep, dark brown eyes. And she wondered if he liked what he saw. A beautiful, confident, glamourous shell, hiding a rotting corpse who was crumbling inside, weathered by a storm of sadness. He tried. He really did. He's kiss her, whisper sweet things to her, caress her arms, make love to her, promise her glorious things. But when it came down to it, she couldn't move on. She was stuck in this mental vortex where Frank was watching over her, making her feel sick to the stomach.

…

It had been a hellish day at work. She had briefly found solace in Peter's arms, warm, strong arms that held her tightly, the soft sensation of feeling his thudding heart beat against her body made for comforting moments. But then Simon had sat there, scowling at them, cutting Peter's affections short and sending him into a temper about his son's poor behaviour.

She'd sighed, guilt about ruining the young boy's home life becoming more prevalent by each day. She'd made her excuses, kissed Peter good bye and gone back to the factory only to be met by smooth, sarky comments from Frank. His monotone, 'I am innocent, lets rub it in' manner grating on Carla. Eventually the bile in her stomach threatened to make an appearance and she grabbed her bag and fled the factory, letting her flood gates down and crying into her pashmina whilst sat in the car.

Then it was back home, screw open a bottle, and drown her sorrows. One glade became two, sober became drunk. Awake became asleep and Carla was passed out, on her sofa, a familiar scene of a shattered glass below her unconscious hand.

…

'Oh for fucks sake' Carla said as she awake to a nasty headache, surveying last's nights damage. 'Good glass n all' she muttered to herself as she attempted to avoid the shards of glass that adorned the carpet. 9 missed calls. 'Ergh' she groaned as she picked the phone up, eager to return Peter's calls.

'Carla, babe are you okay?' Peter said down the phone. 'Yeah, must have fallen asleep early..' Carla said. 'Oh, want to go to breakfast before work?' Peter asked. 'Work' Carla whispered to herself. 'Huh?' Peter said. 'Nothing.. yeah, can I come over?' Carla asked. 'Yeah, thought you might prefer something from Roy's though' Peter said. 'No, I'm coming' Carla said eager to vent her frustrations out by some intimacy with Peter.

Carla had resorted to unhealthy ways to deal with her harboured feelings.

One, was to drink. This was the easiest, it had come second nature to her. She wasn't living with Peter, so he couldn't keep tabs on her drinking. He knew about it, but wasn't aware of how bad it had gotten. This was because when she was with Peter, she didn't drink, she instead found other ways of numbing the pain.

The second, was sex. When she was with Peter, drink wasn't an option. Being with him, as lovely, and real, and true as it was, was also a way to forget about Frank. Her feelings towards him were beyond strong, he made her stomach tingle, he made her eyes light up. The closer she was to him, the better. At first, he loved it, but he too was now beginning to worry about Carla. The way, every now and then, she would practically force herself onto him, her movements jerky and pushy, rather than gentle.

The third was her eating, or lack of eating. She found some comfort in being in control of what she ate. There was a feeling of satisfaction and achievement in knowing she could control herself by skipping a meal, or eating a quarter of what she should. Substituting a meal for a glorious glade of expensive red wine.

…

'Hey love' Peter said opening the door to Carla. She never failed to impress. Make up; impeccable. Outfit; impressively stylish, patent black heels, short skirt, silky beige blouse, her hair tousled gently to the side. He still had to kick himself to realise she was his. But there was a vacant, hollow look behind those once sparkly green eyes. He reached out for her hand, leading her up to the flat. She was relieved that Simon was at school, she wasn't in the mood for a grumpy child making sneering comments, or hateful glares at her.

She perched on the edge of the sofa, smiling slightly as Peter pottered about, the warm smell of toast and butter filling the room. He sat beside her, bringing with him two mugs of coffee and a plate of toast for them to share. Peter picked up a piece of toast, bringing it to her mouth, trying to coax a smile onto her face. She turned her head away slightly, but his hand persistently followed. She frowned, pushing his arm away. He's eager smile fell to a concerned frown.

'Carla..' he said, but was stopped by her soft lips meeting his. She pushed her weight against him, until he was leaning back over the sofa and she had clambered on top of him. Her smile was menacing as she forced her tongue into his mouth, her hands search for his, pulling them up her legs. He squirmed beneath her, yet responded to her kiss, not wanting to reject her advances. He didn't feel she would take well to rejection. He shifted beneath her, pulling her against him as she frantically worked herself against him. He took her wrists gently in his hand, trying to calm her erratic movements. She stopped, and turned around, so instead she was lying in the same direction as he in the sofa, her head leaning back to rest against his chest. He rested his chin on the top of her head, breathing in the scent from her expensive shower gel. He let his arms envelope her and hold her there for a moment before she tensed and commented that she had to go to work.

'Stay' Peter said gently. She shook her head. 'I can't.. I'm the boss.. I have to run it' she said. 'Your the boss you can do what you want' Peter said, but her body language was clear, she wanted to go.

He sighed sadly as she left, glancing over at the untouched plate of toast and cold coffee. He wished he could help her, he needed to. She wasn't stable anymore.


	41. Chapter 41

(Btw Ive just upgraded my Operating System and it does this spell check thing automatically so some words may be spelled incorrectly.. )

'So I think it would be good to start getting on top of some of those orders' Frank said.

Carla practically winced at his calmness. His shameful ability to carry on, act like he wasn't guilty. The verdict may have fooled by his sickly sweet act, but how could he honestly live with himself, feeling no apparent guilt for what he did. Carla had to suffer flashbacks, horrific, graphic dreams and an inner turmoil that refused to cease. Did he not remember what did, remember ripping her clothes of, pushing her violently against the floor, the nasty things he said to her? Or did they just not bother him.

She sighed. 'Yeah I suppose' she said chewing on the top of her pen. 'Would you like a coffee Miss Connor?' Hayley asked as she poked her head round the door, she had felt over protective of her boss these past few weeks and made a point of checking up on Carla. 'Mm, that'd be lovely Hayles' Carla said smiling. 'I'll have one too' Frank said nodding to Hayley. She nodded, and disappeared into the kitchen area.

'So, shall we have a sit down and go through them' Frank said wheeling his chair over towards her. 'No.. I'll do them' Carla said. 'Ah, but I need to see them too' Frank said. 'I'll get.. Sally.. or Michelle to show you them' Carla said. She couldn't do, inmate one to ones with him anymore. 'Oh come on Carla, it's clear you want this business to succeed, well you need me' Frank said. 'No Frank, let me do it' Carla said through gritted teeth. Frank cocked his head to the side 'Carla, drop this 'victim' act. We all know you deserved to be punished' Frank said. This was the final straw for Carla. She felt her emotions overwhelm her, having been stacked up over the past few months. 'So your saying I.. deserved to be raped?' Carla said, her tears flowing freely down her cheeks. 'I didn't rape you. I taught you a lesson.. you betrayed me.. now shush, lets get back to work' Frank said not wanting to make a scene.

'I can't do this anymore. I just can't. Your killing me' Carla said, standing up abruptly, and jerkily reaching to open her draw where she was keeping a bottle of Jack Daniels. She didn't care anymore if anyone saw. She needed relief. She needed an end.

'Carla, resorting to the drink wont help. Only makes you out to be a pathetic drunk… oh wait you are one' Frank whispered through pursed lips.

'Here you go Miss Connor' Hayley said opening the door. She saw Carla standing there, tear stained cheeks, bottle of JD in her hand, bag in the other. 'I'm sorry.. I need to breathe' Carla said rushing out of the room. A bewildered Hayley looked to Frank. 'Well, you heard the lady, out' Frank said rudely taking a mug of tea and ushering Hayley out.

Carla was riled up. She hated the man. Loathed him. And he was aloud to wind her up because he was 'innocent'. She wanted Peter right now, but she also wanted to drink. She didn't want Peter to see her upset, and surely he'd get bored of her. Swapping domestic bliss with Leanne for a turbulent ride with Carla. She laughed at the thought, and still clutching the bottle headed for her car. She wasn't going to drink before driving. She'd learnt that mistake before. She started the engine up, placing the bottle of JD on the passenger seat. The soft roar of her expensive motor made her shudder. She backed out, and sped out of Coronation Street. She didn't know where she was going. Just far, far away from here. She began to feel slightly dizzy, from lack of eating (she hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon) and pulled up. He placed her cool hand on the palm of her head, welcoming the gentle relief it brought her. She looked around. She didn't even know where she was anymore. That pretty much summed up how she felt. She didn't know who she was, where she was, why she was like this. She should be happy. She had Peter, the man who had stolen her heart for the last year and a half in her life, the way she wanted him. But it wasn't making her laugh. Wasn't making her smile. Wasn't making her happy.

Why?

Frank. That's why. The swine who was still there, lurking behind every corner. Just the thought of how he was overpowering her life, in the mental way, not physics (although had done that) was enough to make fresh tears fall from her kohl rimmed eyes and turn her cheeks into a messy canvas. With this, she reached for the bottle. The ever familiar sound of the metal bottle cap twisting around the glass neck of the bottle made her calm slightly. It was pathetic. She knew that. But it was the only way.

The fiery amber liquid drenched her throat, causing her to cough slightly. Half an hour later, the bottle half empty, Carla's senses numbed. She slouched in her car. Fortunately she was too drunk to be bothered to even start the car. Dried lines marks her cheeks, devastating tracks tears had left. Just the marks Frank had left. Another hour later, the bottle was empty. She was out of it. But she was free from her demon's. She'd succumbed. The empty glass bottle rested on the floor by her heeled foot. One hand rested softly on her stomach, the other had collided hard with the steering wheel and hung lumpily by her side.

The rain beat down against the glass. Her window was slightly open, rain drops darting inside, smacking her skin. Her eyelashes collecting droplets, her skin pale, but her cheeks rosy from the painful repetitive smacking the rain was subjecting her too.

Peter sighed. She wasn't answering his calls. He just wanted to talk to her. Why wouldn't she talk to him. He thought he enabled her to that. Simon was in bed. He couldn't leave him.

'Michelle, hi it's Peter.. have you seen Carla?' Peter asked. 'No, I was going to ask you the same. We were meant to be going for a drink tonight, Hayley said she kind of stormed out of the factory earlier' Michelle said. 'Oh.. when was that?' Peter asked. 'About 2.00pm, I got back at 3.30..' Michelle said. 'Oh for fucks sake, I'm really worried Michelle' Peter said. 'Why?' Michelle said although she too was worried. 'Why? Haven't you noticed anything? She isn't coping Michelle' Peter said. 'I don't know, I know it's hard for her.. she doesn't really open up to me, she just says everything is fine' Michelle said. 'Well it isn't.. I'll need to talk to her when I see her' Peter said. 'Maybe we both should' Michelle said. 'Okay.. listen if you hear anything let me know. Please' Peter said wishing she was with him and he could wrap his arm around her and hold her forever


	42. Chapter 42

She awoke, startled and shivering. Her skin was icy, her limbs ached. She glanced down at her hand, there was a dark bruise on her wrist, she couldn't remember why. The heel of her boot hit the glass bottle on the floor, forcing her to reach down and move it. 'Shit' she said to herself as she looked outside from her car window. It was a cold, moody morning. She had no idea where she saw. Her stomach ached, deprived from food and fed on booze for the last two days hadn't done her any good. She felt sick, and realised she had lost track of time. She reached into her back which had been flung to the passenger seat, and looked at her phone. It was 7.40am.

Peter hadn't slept. He'd been up all night, tossing and turning wandering where Carla was. She didn't stay with him every night, she alternated between her flat and his, in a futile bid to ease Simon's hostility towards her slightly, although it hadn't exactly worked. But they would text every night, and he hadn't spoken to her since yesterday morning, where she had left his arms, obviously frustrated and tense about work. He was getting worried now, Michelle hadn't contacted him, so he sensed something was up. He sent Michelle a text asking if there was any news, but was greeted with a mundane text saying she hadn't heard anything. He got up, got Simon ready for school and reluctantly left the house.

'Is she going to be there tonight' Simon asked, dragging his heels.

'It's Carla, not she. How many times Simon. And I don't know' Peter said.

'I don't like her. You said Leanne was coming back this week' Simon said.

'She is. And your going to have to get used to Carla. Give her a chance mate' Peter said, having overheard Stella making it very clear Leanne was returning this week.

'But I want Leanne back. She is my mum' Simon said.

'Yes Simon, she is your mum. That hasn't changed. Just me and Lea no longer live together. I am with Carla now. I know it is hard for you to understand.. but that is the way it is. Carla wants to get to know you' Peter said as Simon scowled and shrugged.

'Have a nice day at school mate, your Grandad will collect you later ok' Peter said.

'Whatever' Simon huffed and wondered into the school gates.

Peter sighed. It was harder than he expected. Leanne wasn't even back yet, and Carla was crumbling. It was like she was lost in her own little world. He was beginning to worry more and more. He returned to the street to see her car parked outside underworld. She was getting out of her car, wearing the same clothes she had left in yesterday. He could tell something was up.

'Carla' he shouted running towards her. She turned, slowly to look at him. She hung her head down, slightly ashamed. 'Carla where on earth have you been? I've been worried sick' he said panting. 'I've.. I'm sorry, I was tired.. went home' Carla said. 'No, stormed out of the factory yesterday' Peter said. 'How.. do you know?' Carla asked. 'That's not important. Carla, what's wrong?' Peter asked, her, his eyes pleading for honesty. 'Nothing.. Peter, can I just get to work' Carla said. She turned to move, but Peter caught her arm, letting his hand slip down to her find hers, his warm soft fingers tangling with her cold fingers. 'Carla' he said softly, tugging her towards him. She failed to maintain eye contact. He leaned forward, resting his temple against her's, their noses touching. It took only moments for him to smell the light tang of booze on her breathe. Still lingering from last night. He breathed the fumes in, his heart sinking. 'Baby' he said, almost sympathetically, pulling her closer, letting his lips meet hers as if to soothe her. 'What?' she said, pulling away. He shook his head. 'Come home' he said. She looked up towards his flat. 'That isn't my home' she said sadly. 'Yes it is. Your home if with me' Peter said. 'No it isn't.. Simon hates me.. you'll only resent me' Carla said sadly. 'Carla, love, I'll never resent you. I love you. Come on' Peter said sensing she was slowly back down. He took her hand and pulled her back towards the flat.

He went to put the kettle on, and she slouched down on the couch. He came to sit by her, handing her a hot mug of tea. 'How much did you drink last night?' he asked her straight. 'Oh cheers Peter' Carla said. 'Carla, there isn't any point denying it. Let me get you through this. Come on. Isn't that one of the reasons we are together' Peter said. She looked at him for a moment. 'A bit' she said. 'A bit.. elaborate' he said. She didn't answer. 'Well what did you drink for a start?' Peter said. 'Jack Daniels' she answered almost sarcastically. 'How much' Peter pressed. 'A glass or two' Carla lied. 'The whole bottle' Peter corrected her. 'Oh Peter why do you need to know' Carla said. He began to get frustrated. 'Why won't you tell me?. You used to say I was the only person you could talk to about it. Now we are together, you seem unable to open up to me' Peter said, venting his concerns. Carla bit her lip. 'Peter' she said, reaching over to put her hand on his thigh. 'I just want you to open up to me. We can't get through this, can't move on unless you talk' Peter said. 'I just want you' Carla said in almost sultry whisper. 'Carla. You've got me. I'm all yours. I know your hurting. I know your fucking killing yourself because of Frank. But thing is, there isn't anything we can do. Just.. forget him.. ignore him, focus on us' Peter said. It was as though his words went straight through her, before he knew it she had clambered on top of him, pinning him against the sofa. Her mouth was on his, almost as though she was forcing him to stop talking. 'Carla no' Peter said, pushing her away, more harshly than intending to. She blinked, her hair falling over her face, looking at him blankly. He frowned, looking at the way she seemed almost dead behind her eyes. 'Carla' he said, holding both her arms so she couldn't bolt from his lap. She was shaking slightly. 'Wait here' he said gently lifting her off him and encouraging her to lie on the sofa. He got up and went to get her a glass of water. 'Drink this' he said firmly. When she didn't respond, her took her hand, noting the dark bruise on her wrist, and placed the glass of water in her hand. 'Drink it' he said. He moved to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling slightly as she brought the glass up to her lips and took a sip. 'Better?' he asked. She mumbled something incomprehensible and closed her eyes. 'Let me get you something to eat' he said, getting up once more. 'No' she said suddenly, too aggressively for his liking. 'Okay.. okay..' Peter said sitting down. 'Hold me.. please' Carla said. She just wanted to be safe, in his arms. With a heavy heart, he let her melt into him, her arms wrapping round his waist, her head resting against his chest. When she had fallen into a eerier slumber, he allowed himself to shift his body, so that he was lying more comfortably on the sofa, Carla's body tangled with his. He rubbed her back in soothing circles.. wondering what on earth he was meant to do


	43. Chapter 43

3 days later.

Peter woke, not taking eyes of Carla, who was sleeping next to him. Her arm hung limply off the bed, her hair messy and free on the pillow. He'd refused to let her go home after her 'disappearance'. He'd told Michelle to tell Frank she wouldn't be in for a while. She'd protested, shouted, cried, broken down (although not all because of the factory) but he was willing to ride out this rough patch, because he loved her. She'd been pretty much house bound for the past few days, mopping around, having little outbursts here and there. But Peter, had thus far managed to put up with it and keep calm. To Ken's annoyance, Peter had persuaded him to take Simon for the past few days, as he didn't think a hostile Simon and fragile Carla would be very compatible.

'Are you going to stare at me for much longer' Carla mumbled. Peter smiled. 'Your just too beautiful' he said craning over and planting a gentle kiss on the nape of her neck. 'I love it when you do that' Carla said contentedly. 'Well I'll do it again then.. and again' Peter said peppering her neck with kisses, savouring her calm mood. She turned around so she was facing him, reaching up to stroke his face. 'I do love you know' she said fondly. 'I know' he said smiling reassuringly at her. The past few days she had managed to slowly cool off, Peter hadn't broached the subject of drinking.. or her strange behaviour since their first chat 3 days ago, but it was still there, prevalent in his mind. He didn't want to ruin this moment though, so figured putting on a smile and acting as the doting partner would be better. Carla's face fell from her beautiful smile into a frown. 'What's wrong?' he asked her. 'I think I'm going to be sick' she said, sitting up abruptly and rushing for the toilet. He sighed.

'Carla' Peter said tapping on the door as he heard her heaving over the toilet. 'Carla, open the door' Peter said. 'It's nothing' Carla responded. 'It doesn't sound like nothing' Peter said. He waited until she opened the door, her face pale and chalky. He leaned in, towards her.'Don't' she said putting her hand up. 'Come on' he said going to get her some water. 'Do you feel unwell?' he asked. 'I've just been sick. I feel dandy' she said in a sarcastic manner. 'You've hardly eaten' he stated. She'd refused most of the food he'd cooked for her in the last few days. Initially he'd assumed she was just feeling the effects of a self inflicted hangover, but his suspicions had been aroused when, for the third day running she'd turned her nose up at it. 'I'm not hungry' she said, lying. She didn't want Peter questioning her on her eating habits as well as her drinking habits. The feeling on satisfaction she got from avoiding a meal, was second to that of downing a glass of the finest liquour. 'Well I am going to make you something' Peter said roaming through the cupboards. 'Will potato and leek soup do?' he asked. 'Peter, I said I'm not hungry' Carla said. He decided to make some anyway. She'd argue, but he had to try.

2 days later.

'Mum' Simon screamed as he, Peter and Carla walked back from collecting him from school. Leanne was getting out of a taxi outside the rovers. 'Great timing' Carla said biting her lip. 'Do you want to go up?' Peter said thinking it would be better to avoid confrontation. 'No time for that' Carla said as Leanne turned as saw them, as an excited Simon ran into her arms.

'Hello love, I've missed you so much' she said grinning. 'I have too! Are you back to stay?' he asked her eagerly. 'I…' she looked up seeing his desperate face. 'Course I am' she corrected herself. 'Does that mean she is going?' Simon asked. 'She?' Leanne said. 'Carla' Simon said. Leanne looked down. 'I don't think so Simon' Leanne said. 'Why though? Your my Mum' he said. 'I know Si, I am your Mum, but your Dad.. and her live together now' Leanne said resisting the urge to get up and deck Carla in the face. She caught Peter's eye, sensing the guilt. Peter's hand tightened round Carla's. 'Can you come up for a bit' Simon said looking up at the flat. 'I don't think that's… no, yes I will' Leanne said realising she needed some of her things. Simon ran up to Peter and Carla. 'She's coming round for a bit' Simon grinned. Carla swore to herself. 'I'll.. go and have a drink' Carla said. 'Oh no you won't.. come on' Peter said. Leanne walked towards them, maintaining a steely glare. 'I'm collecting some more of my things' she said, aware Simon was listening. As soon as the door was unlocked and Simon was running up the stairs, Leanne made her feelings evident.

'You lying little slut' she whispered to Carla. 'Leanne..I don't know what to say' Carla said. 'I couldn't care less what you have to say, stealing MY husband from me, you whore' Leanne said. Carla was temped to retaliate, given that Leanne was more of whore than she ever was, but realised it wasn't the time, or the place and that despite what she though, Leanne was hurting. Badly.

Leanne gathered up a few of her things, giving both Peter and Carla painful looks as she noted Carla's bits and pieces about the place, her dressing gown slung gracefully over the bed, her bag leaning against the bedrest. Little things that made it glaringly obvious that Peter and Carla were now a team, a couple.

Simon spent the rest of the evening chattering about Leanne. Carla knew he didn't mean to, but it felt a though he was rubbing her nose in it.

A month later.

In the bathroom, Carla raked her brush through her ebony tresses. She went to put the brush back on the shelf, double taking when she saw the box of tampons. She made a mental calculation. She was due about now wasn't she? There had been so much going on, she hadn't taken a note of when her last period was. She shrugged a little, she was probably thinking too much.

Peter had become extra vigilant over the past few weeks. Carla's drinking had somewhat ceased, and she had returned to work. She had her moments, she'd come back in a rage, or he'd find her pissed at her house, and he'd be there to clear up the pieces. Her eating, has picked up somewhat, although there were still days where she felt the need to keep eating to a minimum, at the same time trying to keep Peter's probing nature also, to a minimum. They were 'coping'. Simon had adjusted to her somewhat. He didn't exactly like her, but he was beginning to cut the smart comments, and if she asked him to do something, 50% of the time he would. Leanne, hostile as ever, partially ignored them, only engaging in conversation if it regarded Simon, who she had over to stay with her at the Rovers 3 nights a week. Over the past week or so, he'd noticed slight changed in her. She'd been getting tired. Coming back from work, and crashing out on the sofa. She'd usually only be able to keep chatting with him for about an hour or so, before dozing off on the couch. That and she'd been asking repeatedly for peaches. Tinned peached to be exact. 'Peter, this sounds ridiculous but go get us some tinned peaches would ya' she had said one night during dinner. He'd chuckled, and popped down to Devs. The next afternoon, he'd found her sitting cross legged on the couch, digging into another tin. And this had continued throughout the week. At first he had shrugged it off, but as the weeks went on, he couldn't help but let his eyes wonder to her stomach. She was slim.. slimmer than ever really, but there was a definitely 'roundness' to her. Perhaps he was concentrating on it too much? No, there was definitely something up.. she'd been in her underwear, pulling on her blouse, and there was no mistaking, the very faint, but definitely curve over her stomach. How could she have not noticed it


	44. Chapter 44

**Okay firstly, thank you for all your reviews :) Keep them coming as I don't know if anyone is still enjoying this!**

Secondly, I have a few idea's of where I want this to go, but your more than welcome to forward and suggestions to me, I love reading them and if I like any/ think I could write them I'd be more than happy to include them!

He was slightly frustrated. He scratched his head, his eyes heavy, watching her get up and head to the bathroom. Why hadn't she mentioned anything. Surely she must have realised… He didn't want to have to be the one to bring it up, he wanted her to tell him.

'Penny for your thoughts' she said, returning from the bath room and perching on the end of the bed, raking her hand through her hair. 'Nothing love, I'm just thinking how damn lucky I am to wake up to you every morning' he said. She smirked, and clambered on top of him, straddling him. 'Am I being rewarded for something' he teased. 'Just for loving me' Carla said, grinding slightly on him as she leaned down to kiss him. 'Mm, well that's not too hard' he said, letting his hands rest on her waist, looking up at her. She was about to pull her top on when Simon appeared in the room. He made an unpleasant face, and Carla rolled her eyes, climbing off of Peter. 'I'll go and have that shower' Carla said. Simon stove, cross armed in the room. 'What?' Peter asked. 'Are we seeing Mum today?' he asked. 'I don't know. Your going round to Grandad's for tea, so perhaps she could come round' Peter said. 'Okay' Simon said, not bothered to argue and disappearing back into the living room. Peter was tempted to join Carla in the shower, but reckoned Simon would only disturb them, go reluctantly got up and went to put some breakfast on.

He wasn't sure how he felt about the intending arrival. Neither of them had mentioned it, and it was very early days, but he knew it was coming. She couldn't ignore it for much longer. He'd bought a jar of decaf coffee, the first tangible reminder of what was to come. 'Coffee?' he asked her as she came out in a cream blouse and black pencil skirt. 'Please' she said perching on the arm of the sofa to do her makeup. He handed her a mug, and watched as she took a sip. She frowned. 'Is this decaf?' she asked. 'Yeah' he said. 'Why have you bought decaf? Hardly going to give me a kick in the right direction' she said. 'I.. thought we ought to go easy on the caffeine' he said. She laughed out loud. 'Since when were you health conscious.. your the smoker' she said. 'Yeah, but..' Peter was interrupted by Simon. 'I'm hungry' he said. 'Your toast is coming, drink your milk' Peter said.

At work, Carla was growing tired of the bickering between Sally and Michelle. And the eerie calmness of Frank, the way he watched her, his eyes devouring her body every now and then. She could almost feel his hands pawing at her from across the room. She pulled her seat up rather abruptly and went to make herself a coffee. As she spooned a heap of instant coffee into the mug her thoughts were drawn back to Peter, and the decaf coffee he'd bought. She looked down down slightly, allowing herself to look at herself properly for the first time in a while. It had crossed her mind a few times, but she'd repeatedly brushed it back into a unmentioned corner of her mind. She had been sick a few times, and she had experienced an overwhelming need for tinned peached. She chuckled to herself a little as she thought of this. She had been feeling tired.. and had she put on weight? She was desperately trying to avoid it, one of the reasons she had been monitoring her food intake. She paused, letting her hand run over the taut fabric of her pencil skirt. She couldn't feel much, She could barely be two months gone. She allowed her mind to think back over the past few weeks. She hadn't had a period as far as she could remember, she'd accounted it to stress and hormones.. but could she be pregnant? She and Peter had tried to be careful, most of the time they used protection. But there had been the occasion or two where it had slipped their mind. She'd been taking the pill too, but she'd run out a few weeks ago, and she'd completely forgotten to go and renew her prescription. She felt irritable now, absently chewing on her lip and she poured boiling water into the kettle. A baby really wouldn't help matters right now. Not only that, but she didn't want to be a mother. Paul and her had discussed children and decided against it. She really didn't feel any different now. She knew deep down she should take a test, confirm her fears and then tell Peter. But they were already struggling as it was, and the added pressure of a pregnancy really wouldn't help matters, so for now the best thing to do was to ignore it.


	45. Chapter 45

3 weeks later

'Why are you in a such a bad mood?' Carla asked as Peter wondered around the flat with a frown on his face. 'I'm not' he said. 'You are, it's written all over your face' Carla said. 'Leave it Car, I'm going to have a shower' Peter said grumpily. Carla pouted, but couldn't be bothered to argue, she knew too well she had mood swings, and Peter put up with them. Peter didn't want to argue with Carla. But he was growing increasingly annoyed at how she seemed oblivious to her own condition. He was more than sure now, her belly had taken on, a still very slight, but clear roundness. He grumbled to himself in the shower, wondering whether to mention something to Carla.

He came out in his shower, finding Carla crouched over some papers. 'Hey' he said. 'Are you in a better mood?' she asked him. 'Yeah, sorry' Peter said. 'Simon's in his bedroom… he was mentioning something about school, said it was best he talked to you' Carla said as Peter nodded. 'I'm doing a shop today.. do you need anything?' Peter asked. 'Oh, I'm running out of shampoo, I'll write you down the things I need' Carla said. She scribbled down a few things and handed him the list over breakfast. 'Is that all you need? Don't you need some of your moisturiser, noticed it was low.. and tampons?' he asked slaying trying to hint. She raised an eyebrow. 'No Peter, I don't need either of those' she said, although the mention of tampons reminded her of what she was trying to ignore.

Peter sighed, mentally, he'd hoped that would encourage her to talk to him. Obviously not.

'Listen love, I nee to go and sort something out at the factory, I'll see you later okay?' Carla said kissing him lightly on the lips. 'See you' he mumbled, as Simon came over to ask him something. 'See you Simon, have a good day at school' Carla said. She didn't get a reply.

She'd been on the phone negotiating an order when the pain started. A dull, kneading pain in her lower abdomen. She'd ignored it at first, and managed to plug a good deal. 'Fuck' she said as the pain intensified. She didn't want Frank's mock concern so slipped into the bathroom, away from prying eyes. She leaned over the basin, rubbing her stomach. She looked in the mirror. She took a deep breathe and reentered the office. 'Carla check this would ya' Michelle said handing her a sheet of paper. It had become pretty much Michelle and Carla, and Sally and Frank. Two separate teams in one office. 'Not now Michelle' Carla said sitting back down. 'It's important Car, it's to do with the Laden's order.. he want's another 100 units' MIchelle said. 'Oh' Carla said scanning over it, not taking it all in. 'So?' Michelle said. 'Yeah, say yes' Carla said. 'Cool, thanks' Michelle said getting back to her work.

An hour passed and with the pain in her abdomen making her unable to concentrate Carla decided it was time for a break. Or a drink more like. She swayed into the rovers, to be greeted by a steely glare from Stella, Leanne was waiting at the back of the bar, her new territory. Carla walked up, giving Tina eye contact, suggesting she wanted surveying.

'What's she doing here' Leanne spat. 'Do you want me to bar her?' Stella asked. 'No, I want to make her squirm' Leanne said. Carla ordered a gin and tonic and took a seat, trying to ignore the prying eyes. As she sipped her drink, the pain worsened. She wanted to double up, but managed to resort to gripping the worn cotton covering of the bench she was sitting on until her knuckles turned a nasty shade of white. Suddenly Leanne was sitting before her.

'What do you want Leanne?' Carla asked, gritting her teeth through the pain. 'How dare you. You come in here, acting like the innocent victim, when all along you were going behind my back' Leanne said. 'Leanne, I can't say how sorry I am. I swear I didn't… (she sighs in pain).. mean to hurt you, it's just I love him' Carla said. 'Yeah, so that gave you the right to tear my family apart did it? Take the man I loved away from me. Your a pathetic, vindictive, drunk bitch' Leanne said. 'I deserved that' Carla said, blinking back tears, not caused by Leanne, but by the pain spurning in her stomach. 'Crying now are you? Aww poor Carla. She only cries rape and steals her best friends husband, you know, I felt sorry for you, now I just look at you and hate you' Leanne said. Carla was no longer listening to what Leanne had to say. She saw stars for a moment, steadying herself. Then she got up, she couldn't focus. She almost stumbled to the bar. 'Don't you dare walk away from me Carla' Leanne said, raising her voice. 'Listen to her' Stella said firmly, glaring at Carla. 'Please, stop it' Carla said, dropping her back to the floor and gripping her stomach through the fabric of her blouse. 'Oh playing the victim again? You love doing that don't you' Stella said, the whole pub watching now. Carla looked down. 'Oh god' she said wishing Peter was here to hold her. 'Pathetic' Leanne said reaching to grab Carla's arm. She was slightly surprised when Carla reacted forcefully, pushing her away. "Get off me' Carla said, louder than she'd intended. 'Don't you dare' Stella said coming from round the bar to back up Leanne. 'Of fucking hell' Carla said, falling to her knees and doubling over holding her stomach.

Stella and Leanne looked at each other awkwardly. It had become evident Carla was obviously in pain. Leanne didn't want to break free of her anger just yet, so forced herself to keep quiet as Stella reluctantly crouched down beside Carla. 'This better not be some sick joke' Stella said, firmly reaching for Carla's arm. 'Trust me, it isn't' Carla said through gritted teeth, rocking herself against the pain. 'What's wrong?' Stella asked. 'Can't you see? I'm in.. shit' Carla said as the pain resurfaced, stronger again. By now a small crowd had gathered around Carla. 'Should we call an ambulance?' Steve asked. 'I think you better' Rita nodded. 'Everyone step away from her, come on, give her some room' Steve said, raising an eyebrow. 'Help me up would you' Carla said to Stella. Stella looked at Leanne and reached for Carla's arm, helping her gingerly get up. Carla leaned over the bar, cursing as she did so. 'Where are you going?' Stella asked as Carla slowly dragged herself towards the door. 'I need Peter' Carla said. Leanne let out a sarcastic, but sad cough as though to mock Carla. 'Sit down Carla' Stella said. She didn't like Carla. In fact she loathed her. But the woman was obviously in pain, and she reckoned she needed to wait until the ambulance got there. But Carla was stubborn, and ignored Stella's advice. Instead she gathered al her will and fought against the pain, managing top get back to the flat.

'Your back early love' Peter said as she opened the door. He'd taken his lunch break from the bookies and was making himself a sandwich. He went to go and give her a kiss but was taken aback by her chalky white appearance, sweat sticking to her temple, she double up in front of him and fell into his arms. 'Peter.. help me' she said, gripping his arms. 'Carla, what's wrong? What's happened?' he asked her frantically. 'I don't know.. oh god it hurts' she breathed. 'Carla!' he said reaching into his pocket for his phone to dial 999. 'She bit her lip, the pain taking over. 'Peter I think.. I think I'm having a miscarriage..' she whispered, burying her head into his chest


	46. Chapter 46

'I'd recommend you take it easy for the next few days. No lifting heavy objects, and plenty of rest' the Doctor said. 'Cheers, so I'm free to go?' Carla asked. 'Yes, I just want you to sign this, then you can go. If you need to see the bereavement team, or have any questions do feel free to ask' the Doctor added. 'No, I'll be fine thank you. Where do I sign?' Carla asked. 'Here' the Doctor said, glancing over at Peter who looked tense. 'Oh, and Miss Connor, do make sure you get something to eat, I noticed your bloke sugar was pretty low, don't want to have to see you coming back in here again' the Doctor said, a forced smile on his face. 'I don't need to food police on me 'n all' Carla said getting herself off the bed and reaching for her coat. 'Thanks' Peter said nodding politely at the Doctor and following Carla out.

'Carla, wait up will you' Peter said. 'Sorry, can we just go home?' Carla asked. 'Carla, love, don't you want to talk?' Peter asked her, grabbing her elbow and tugging her towards him. 'Not really. What I do fancy though is a nice cup of coffee, but not decaf like' she said, grinning at him. Peter shook his head. 'Well I want to talk, how long did you know?' Peter said firmly. 'Know what?' Carla said. 'Know that you were pregnancy…(Carla was about to speak but Peter cuts her off)… and do not try and say you didn't know Carla, because I knew' Peter said. Carla frowned. 'You knew?' she said. 'I gathered, yes. I'd noticed changes in you, your cravings, your mood swings, your tiredness.. your stomach..' Peter said. Carla looked down. 'I never took a test. It crossed my mind, but I tried to ignore it' Carla said. 'Why?' Peter said, his eyes pleading for an explanation. 'I don't know Peter. I didn't want it.. I.. I don't want kids' Carla said. 'But you could have talked to me. Told me. That's what I'm here for. How are we meant to be a couple.. and work, if you don't talk to me' Peter said. 'I was going to… at some point' Carla said. 'No you weren't. You don't talk to me anymore. Carla, I've spend the last few months watching you. Worrying. You've been drinking, snapping, not eating.. I don't know what to do' Peter said. 'Don't worry about me Peter. I'm fine' Carla said. 'But I do. Every day. All the time. I love you Carla. Do you expect me to sit back and watch the women I care about, fade away from me? Do you?' Peter said. 'I.. I..' Carla didn't know how to respond. She turned her head away, taking a sharp breathe. 'I want to help you. But I can't.. not if you wont let me' Peter said. 'I'm sorry' Carla said. 'Don't be sorry. Just talk to me. Let me hold you' Peter said. Carla nodded, letting Peter come closer and wrap his arms around her. She let herself nestle into his chest, breathing in his soft, musky, taboo infused scent.

'Are you okay.. you know your allowed to be sad Carla' Peter said. 'About what?' Carla said. 'The baby' Peter replied. 'There isn't a baby Peter. Never really was' Carla said. 'You see, this is what I mean. Closing off. There was a baby. Our baby, it might not have been what you wanted, honestly, it probably wasn't what I wanted either, but that doesn't mean I'm not sad. Doesn't mean I don't feel anything' Peter said softly. 'Okay. Maybe I am. Just a little bit. But it's better this way. Now we can move on and focus on what we have' Carla said. 'Alright then, but, look at me Carla' Peter said, reaching to pull her face towers him. 'I love you, please don't forget that' Peter said. She smiled a little, seemingly letting down her barriers for a moment. 'I love you too' she said, letting her eyes meet his, and his lips meet hers.


	47. Chapter 47

It had been three weeks since Carla had lost the baby. She and Peter had kept it themselves, Stella had asked what had happened, but Carla had just said she had food poisoning. She couldn't care less if Stella believed her or not.

'Simon will you turn that down' Carla asked as Simon ate his breakfast in front of the tv. 'I don't want to' Simon said. 'Well I've asked you to. Now do as I say or I'll turn it off for you' Carla said. Simon made an angry noise, but did as she said. 'Am I seeing Mum today?' Simon asked. 'I don't know. Ask your Dad' Carla said. She found her patience wearing thin with Simon this morning. It was times like this that she missed her lovely flat. No clutter. No harsh lighting. Some might call it moody. She called it relaxing.

'What's going on?' Peter said hearing his name. 'Am I seeing Mum today?' Simon asked. 'Yeah, you can do that, I need to talk to you actually' Peter said looking over at Carla. 'Oh.. something good I hope' Carla said. Peter smiled 'You'll see' he said.

'Right Simon, come on, get dressed, you've got to leave for school in a bit' Peter said as Carla ate a piece of toast. Since Peter had made an effort to communicate with her more, things had perked up, and for now she didn't feel the need to resort to rationing her food intake to feel in control. Frank still bugged her at the factory, but she was making an effort to not let him get to her and focus on her and Peter. And Simon…

'Have a nice day at school Simon' Carla said. Simon turned round, giving her a slightly look at ran off to join his friends. 'Don't say I didn't try' Carla said. 'I know. Your doing well with him. He still needs time' Peter said. 'I don't get children. How much time do they need? It's been like, three months now' Carla said. 'Yeah, but Leanne is his Mum, and this is all a lot for him to take in' Peter said. 'You see, this is why I would never make a good Mum. I just don't get them' Carla said. 'Well, I beg to differ. I think you'd have made a wonderful Mum' Peter said, he still felt a little sad when he thought of the child they'd lost, even if he or she hadn't been planned, they still had existed, for a short moment of time. 'Don't go all soppy on my Peter' Carla said, linking arms with him. 'Anyway, what I wanted to talk to you about..' Peter said. 'Oh yes, this ominous chat' Carla laughed. 'It's not that ominous.. it's just that, well, after the last few months and things, I've been thinking' Peter said. 'And what did your wise thoughts tell you?' Carla teased. 'That I think we should move' Peter said. Carla looked at him 'Move?' she said. 'Yes, move. I don't mean far, just that, well I know you miss your flat, and mine, well it isn't exactly your cup of tea' Peter said. 'Waking up to you everyday is all I need Peter' Carla said, though she did actually agree with what he was saying. 'Oh likewise my angel, but I can see your not completely happy.. and well, what's stopping us. It would be good to have a fresh start, a new place to call our own' Peter said. 'You do realise house prices are pretty steep nowadays' Carla said. 'I'm sure we can find something' Peter said. 'If we're lucky Peter. Honestly, my flat could get a fare bit.. and yours too I supposed, but to be honest I doubt we'd find something much bigger than either of ours' Carla said. 'Talk about glum. Leave it to me' Peter said with a wink.

**Thought I might start giving chapter previews every now and then :P**

**Coming up: 7 numbers mean big things for Carla and Peter ;)**


	48. Chapter 48

'See Peter, I told you' Carla said as she and Peter saw on their bed, looking at houses on Carla's Macbook Pro. 'Well, perhaps we could look at flats then?' Peter asked. 'What's the point, in selling two flats, and buying another one' Carla said. 'Because we will get more room' Peter said. 'Peter, I'd love more room, you know I would, but fact is, this flat, I'm sorry, you won't get much for it, and my flat, well, if we add the money up it just wont get us anywhere decent' Carla said. She was so used to living the carefree, wealthily lifestyle, that adjusting to a more 'normal' one was difficult. But she had to be realistic. 'Well I'm going to keep looking, until I find something' Peter said. 'Suit yourself' Carla said getting up to have a shower.

Carla heard Peter shout at the top of his voice, and hastily wrapped her towel around herself, rushing into the living room, still dripping wet.

'What? Peter are you okay?' she stammered at seeing him, his face white, his hands shaking. 'Carla.. we've.. we've won.. look we've won' he said, his voice quavering. 'We've won what?' she asked, bemused. He pointed to the TV where the lottery show was on. Carla raised an eyebrow. 'Peter.. are you sure' she said thinking he might have gotten his hoped up unnecessarily. 'Look' he said handing her his ticket. She looked over at the TV, checking if he was right. 'Holy shit' she said realising he was indeed right. She looked up at Peter. 'Let's sit down' she said. She was used to be well off, well rich, when she and Paul had been together, they'd been rolling in cash at times, but nothing like this. They sat down, unsure of what to say or do. 'Listen Peter, let me ring up, and check this is all legit, don't tell anyone ok' Carla said. Peter nodded, but couldn't wipe the grin of his face. 'I knew it was worth buying buying these silly tickets' he said. 'I didn't even know you did' Carla said. 'I'm a bookie..' Peter said. 'Ah' Carla said, picking up the phone.

Peter went to have a shower, his stomach had butterflies in it, he felt unreal. He came back out to see Carla, sitting there with a smirk on her face. 'Peter Barlow, come er' she said walking up to him to give him a kiss. 'What did they say?' Peter asked. 'Only that we've gone and won ourselves thirty one million pounds' Carla said. Peter cleared his throat. 'Thirty one million pounds' he said. Carla let a dirty laugh, as Peter picked her up and threw her onto the couch. 'Fucking hell, can't we go and shout it out over the roof tops' Peter said. 'No' Carla said still giggling. 'I can't believe it' Peter said. 'Listen, we should stay anonymous, I don't think people should know..' Carla said. 'I suppose, I don't really know how to feel. Happy obviously.. but this is surreal!' Peter said. 'Just our luck eh, looks like we could get the house of our dreams now' Carla said. 'Oh, I reckon we can do that!' Peter said.

**Just a short one. I know it's crazy mad, but I wanted something insanely OTT and happy for them.. so there ya have it ;)**

**Next chapter.. what will they buy with their new found fortune…**


	49. Chapter 49

'Now this is a nice one' Carla said finding a house she liked. The lottery win had finally sunk in, although they hadn't told anyone about it. 'Let's have a look' Peter said scooting to sit beside her and have a look at what she'd found. 'God, never thought we'd be able to find something like that.. 6 bedrooms.. 4 bathrooms… do we really need all that?' Peter asked. 'A bedroom for me and you, one for Simon, another incase your Dad and Deirdre want to stay.. guests..' Carla said. 'Basically, we are being extravagant' Peter said. 'Peter love, we've wont thirty one million pounds, what is the point of buying another two bedroom flat' Carla said. 'True' Peter grinned, realising she was right, it just still felt unreal that they had enough money.. to buy whatever they wanted. 'Listen lets arrange a visit, no need to rush, but this house is beautiful, and it's close to here so we can both keep the factory and the bookies.. although technically we wouldn't need to' Carla said. 'Hey, why don't you offer to buy out Frank with an offer he can't refuse, get him out of your life once and for all' Peter said. Carla looked up. She hated the idea of offering him more than his share was worth, but if it meant she could be free of him, be in complete contra of her factory once more.. it would be worth it. 'That's an idea. Listen perhaps tonight me and you should have a proper talk. We should think about what we are going to do with the money… as make a plan' Carla said. Peter nodded. 'I still can't believe it Carla.. we've won the lottery, I've got you.. my life feels perfect' he said. She smiled. 'It is isn't' she said, although she knew too well money didn't buy you happiness.


	50. Chapter 50

**I always forget to thank everyone for the lovely reviews! So thank you :) As always appreciated and I'm grateful to everyone still reading. Can't believe we are on chapter 50 already!**

'What do you think?' Carla asked Peter as they walked through the ridiculously polished, clean and luxurious house. 'I don't know. It's not what I'm used to' Peter said, walking around the king sized bed in the Master bedroom. 'That doesn't matter. Do you like it?' Carla said as she looked out of the window, over the garden. 'It's a stunning house, I'm just not sure… it's very me' Peter said. Carla smiled at him 'Your not used to this, bless' she said, she'd never been this rich, but she'd lived the life of luxury before, so this was what she liked. They continued through the rest of the house, the six large bedrooms, each with their own view of the large, lush garden. The four bathrooms, (two en-suit), the large front room, with a TV big enough for most private cinemas, the three 'sitting rooms', the dining room, the giant kitchen, the two studies, the 'games room', the pantry and the several other rooms Carla was sure they could find a use for. Not to mention the private swimming pool.

'Simon would love this, look, can just imagine you two having a kick about on a nice day' Carla said looking out over the garden. 'Since when did you life home life Car' he said. 'I can change' Carla said, leaning on him. 'Si will love the pond too' Carla added. Peter nodded agreeing with her. 'What will it be next eh, kids?' he teased. She tensed up a little, 'I think we can stick to the big house for now' Carla said. 'So what do you think?' Carla asked for about the eighth time. 'Well.. it is.. a lovely house. And it makes you happy' Peter said. 'But what about you' Carla said. 'Well, considering I'm not sued to anything like this, it's pretty nice' Peter said. 'Pretty nice, is that it?' Carla said. 'Okay, it's gorgeous, just like you' Peter said letting his hands fall to her waist and picking up her up making her squeal like a child. 'Shall we get it then?' Peter said. Carla grinned. It felt too good to be true. When she and Frank had been looking at houses, it hadn't felt.. right. With Peter is was better than anything.

'Simon love, me and your Dad want to have a word with you about something' Carla said. 'Simon, don't be rude' Peter said as the young boy ignored Carla. Simon turned round, crossing his arms. 'Me and Carla, well we've talking, and we are thinking about moving' Peter said. 'What about me?' Simon asked. 'Oh, you'd come with us pet' Carla said. 'I don't want to leave' Simon said. 'Ah, but this house is lovely Si. Much bigger. You'd have a really big room' Peter said. 'I like my room' Simon said. 'But you'll like this room even better' Peter said. 'You don't know that' Simon frowned. 'Simon, how about you come and see the house with me one day after school' Peter said. Simon shook his head. 'It has a big garden Si, big enough for you and your Dad to play football in, and there is a pond' Carla said, noticing Simon's eyes widen for a second. 'You like the sound of that don't you' Peter said. 'I prefer this house' Simon said. 'Well you can't prefer this house if you haven't seen the other house' Peter said. Simon shrugged. 'Well, I think you'll love it Simon' Peter said. By now Carla had grown used to Simon's attitude and blatant dislike of her, so knew his behaviour was more because of that that anything.

'Oh and we can get a new car' Carla said. 'Anything else Madam wants' Peter said. 'Oh come on Peter, you know full well that your car is on it's last legs, and well, you'd look rather handsome sitting in a sexy merc or audi wouldn't you' Carla said. 'Would I now?' Peter said grinning, tracing a pattern over her arm whilst they lay in bed. Carla grinned, seductively nibbling the end of her finger, eyes locked with Peter. 'Come here you cheeky mare' Peter said, giving her a playful kiss. 'I wonder what our future holds?' Carla asked. 'Mhm, happiness I hope' Peter said. 'I hope so. We deserve it don't we' Carla said. 'I reckon we do' Peter said, gazing at her. The lottery win was wonderful, but it was Carla that he considered himself most lucky for. He still felt ashamed at the fact he'd turned her down so many times before, but in his heart he knew he was only trying to be a good husband and do right by Simon and Leanne


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